be, he may
watch an opportunity, and join force with it, on occasion, when I am
least prepared: for now he seems to abound with kindness, and talks
of love without reserve, and makes nothing of allowing himself in the
liberty of kissing me, which he calls innocent; but which I do not like,
and especially in the manner he does it: but for a master to do it at
all to a servant, has meaning too much in it, not to alarm an honest
body.

Wednesday morning.

I find I am watched and suspected still very close; and I wish I was
with you; but that must not be, it seems, this fortnight. I don't like
this fortnight; and it will be a tedious and a dangerous one to me, I
doubt.

My master just now sent for me down to take a walk with him in the
garden: but I like him not at all, nor his ways; for he would have, all
the way, his arm about my waist, and said abundance of fond things to
me, enough to make me proud, if his design had not been apparent. After
walking about, he led me into a little alcove, on the farther part of
the garden; and really made me afraid of myself, for he began to be very
teasing, and made me sit on his knee; and was so often kissing me, that
I said, Sir, I don't like to be here at all, I assure you. Indeed you
make me afraid!--And what made me the more so, was what he once said
to Mrs. Jewkes, and did not think I heard him, and which, though always
uppermost with me, I did not mention before, because I did not know how
to bring it in, in my writing.

She, I suppose, had been encouraging him in his wickedness; for it was
before the last dreadful trial: and I only heard what he answered.

Said he, I will try once more; but I have begun wrong for I see terror
does but add to her frost; but she is a charming girl, and may be thawed
by kindness; and I should have melted her by love, instead of freezing
her by fear.

Is he not a wicked, sad man for this?--To be sure, I blush while I write
it. But I trust, that that God, who has delivered me from the paw of the
lion and the bear; that is, his and Mrs. Jewkes's violences, will soon
deliver me from this Philistine, that I may not defy the commands of the
living God!

But, as I was saying, this expression coming into my thoughts, I was
of opinion, I could not be too much on my guard, at all times: more
especially when he took such liberties: for he professed honour all the
time with his mouth, while his actions did not correspond. I begged and
prayed he wou