, 'How kindly he behaved himself to me; and how he praised
me, and gave me great hopes of his being good at last. Of the too tender
impression this made upon me; and how I began to be afraid of my own
weakness and consideration for him, though he had used me so ill.
How sadly jealous he was of Mr. Williams; and how I, as justly could,
cleared myself as to his doubts on that score. How, just when he had
raised me up to the highest hope of his goodness, he dashed me sadly
again, and went off more coldly. My free reflections upon this trying
occasion.'

This brought down matters from Thursday, the 20th day of my
imprisonment, to Wednesday the 41st, and here I was resolved to end, let
what would come; for only Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, remain to give
an account of; and Thursday he set out to a ball at Stamford; and Friday
was the gipsy story; and this is Saturday, his return from Stamford. And
truly, I shall have but little heart to write, if he is to see all.

So these two parcels of papers I have got ready for him against
to-morrow morning. To be sure I have always used him very freely in my
writings, and shewed him no mercy; but yet he must thank himself for
it; for I have only writ truth; and I wish he had deserved a better
character at my hands, as well for his own sake as mine.--So, though I
don't know whether ever you'll see what I write, I must say, that I will
go to bed, with remembering you in my prayers, as I always do, and as I
know you do me: And so, my dear parents, good night.

Sunday morning.

I remembered what he said, of not being obliged to ask again for my
papers; and what I should be forced to do, and could not help, I thought
I might as well do in such a manner as might shew I would not disoblige
on purpose: though I stomached this matter very heavily too. I had
therefore got in readiness my two parcels; and he, not going to church
in the morning, bid Mrs. Jewkes tell me he was gone into the garden.

I knew that was for me to go to him; and so I went: for how can I
help being at his beck? which grieves me not a little, though he is my
master, as I may say; for I am so wholly in his power, that it would
do me no good to incense him; and if I refused to obey him in little
matters, my refusal in greater would have the less weight. So I went
down to the garden; but as he walked in one walk, I took another, that I
might not seem too forward neither.

He soon 'spied me, and said, Do you expect