the Lord, and to
join in the society her soul has so long and so truly loved, of the
lovers of the Lamb of God. Though the Lord has taken away the desire
of my eyes, as it were with a stroke, and left me a few hours to cry
unto him in the midst of my deep, deep waters; yet these visions of
his love have so revived my soul, that my whole soul is brought to
acquiesce in his holy and fatherly arrangements, with respect to her
who was once the joy, the help, and companion of all in which I was
engaged. I sit down now to wait, and see the salvation of my God, for
doubtless he will reveal, in his own good time, the reason why he has
acted so contrary, not only to mine, but especially my dear wife's
strongest convictions, which were, that he would preserve us all safe
through this calamity.

When I now contemplate the spiritual state of dear Mary's mind for the
last twelve months, I am not at all surprised that the Lord has taken
her as a ripe shock of corn, but my expectation while watching her
spiritual progress was so different. I saw her daily growing in the
simple assurance of her Lord's love, and desiring under heaven neither
to know nor serve any other than him. Her heart was panting for the
Lord's coming, that the mystery of iniquity might be finished, and
the mystery of godliness be fully established; but I thought not of
all this being preparatory to her joining her Lord, but for the
strengthening of my poor weak hands here. It never entered my heart
that I was to be left alone, as far as earth is concerned, most alone.
Those friends for whom this journal is alone designed, know how much
she was to me, and how deservedly so: this, however, the Lord saw had
its great, great dangers too, and may in his infinite mercy to us both
have ripened her so rapidly for glory, and left me here to serve and
praise; for I have felt it was very, very hard to be as the Apostle
says, having a wife as though I had none. Now, when I go and look upon
her having reached within one short step, the habitation of all her
hopes; I have not a spiritual affection within my soul that would
call her back; but poor nature bows reluctantly its head.

The dear little baby also is but poorly. Her dear little cry of mamma,
mamma, cuts my poor heart like a knife, to think, that from to-day or
probably to-morrow, she must cease to know that endearing name, and
such a mother too! However, the Lord tells his children to leave their
fatherless, and doub