e is assuming an alarming aspect.
Without the city walls, the numbers of those who wish to plunder the
city are increasing; and within, the same tendency is manifested among
those who are intended for its protection, so that my heart has been
at times very much pressed down; yet the Lord has sustained me. In the
evening, as I was looking out, I saw the man come into the court yard,
who brings and collects letters for Aleppo, and in his hand a letter
for me. With what eagerness did I seize it, and anticipate its
contents. Yet though good tidings, because tidings of the Lord's
blessing them, and being in the midst of them, it contained tidings
peculiarly heavy for me to receive at this moment, as it not only led
me to anticipate no present prospect of seeing my dear brethren from
Aleppo, but that it seemed very doubtful if it would be their path to
come at all; at least if they did, it would be purely to join me, and
this surely would not be the path of duty. I, however, receive this
last trying providence at my loving Father's hands, adoring his love
whilst I know not the modes of his going forth. It has not weighed me
down so much as I thought it would; and the Lord allows me to feel
assured he will yet do something for me. They seem to wish me to join
them, but I do not yet see my way clear to leave this place to which
the Lord has brought me. I feel daily more and more that my place in
the church is very low, and it matters very little where I am for any
good that is in me: yet by remaining, I keep the way open for those
who are more able, and whose establishment is more important. I know
my Lord will not cut me off from personal improvement by all his
darkly gracious dealing, and perhaps I am now learning another part of
that hard lesson, neither to glory in or trust in man. But still I
bless God he is giving my dear brethren a door of utterance and
prospects of usefulness where they are, and may my joy ever be in
proportion to the glory that is brought to his blessed name, and the
prosperity of his kingdom. Until the Lord, therefore, raises his
fiery cloudy pillar, and bids me forth, I shall pursue my plan of
endeavouring to converse in Arabic till the Lord is pleased to open my
mouth by degrees, or as he please, to publish his whole truth. Should
he send me some dear brother to help and comfort me, may he give me
grace to praise him; if not, to hope in him and find in himself all I
need. To the dear boys it has been