six months of
trial. My sweet little baby remained an object for those affections to
seize upon, which will exist while life lasts, however disciplined,
and however the power of grace may prevail; but in one so weak in
faith, so earthly as I am, they have had much, too much power, and
therefore the Lord, in mercy to my soul, has swept them all away, that
I may have nothing in this world left but his service. If this be his
holy purpose, may my whole soul second so gracious an intention; and I
pray the spiritual family which the Lord, according to his promise,
has given me, fathers, mothers, sisters, and brothers, that their
love and patience towards me may abound, that my spirit may be
refreshed thereby, and my weakness encouraged to proceed--though
faint, yet pursuing.

_Aug. 25._ _Friday._--This day has taught me, that if I would not be
entirely miserable, I must give up my whole time, and soul, and
thoughts to my Lord; for if I look off him, I feel bordering on a
gulf, the depth of which I cannot fathom. Oh! may the Holy blessed
Spirit give me such views of the graciousness and exceeding riches of
my Lord, that I may really feel, that in having him, I have all
things. He alone is the same, yesterday, to-day, and for ever. All
created things, the nearest, the dearest, the most beloved in the
moment of greatest need and greatest felicity, elude the grasp, and
flee away; but he abides always. I desire, therefore, the Lord
enabling me, to give myself altogether to the preparation for my
future labours more diligently than I have ever yet done; that though
desolate on earth, I may hold the freest and sweetest communion with
heaven; for of all preparation I feel the greatest, the most needful
to be, that of the heart; in order to the constant sensible
entertainment of Christ, from whose nearness all the spiritual
faculties derive the sap and the fruit bearing strength.

_Aug. 28._--To-day I feel the Lord has given me a victory, by turning
my thoughts off my miserable self and temporary circumstances, to the
contemplation of the happiness of those who are gone before me, and
by enabling me to feel set off on my journey to meet them, and drawing
every day one day's journey nearer, while I endeavour to forget I had
ever been happy in domestic life, or ever possessed those dear
objects; but nature was often too strong for me, as I dwelt on their
felicity, and my journeying towards them daily, whether the Lord
brings them w