t to be a mercy
eternally to be thankful for, that the sense of my Father's love and
Saviour's sympathy has never been taken from me amidst all my trials;
nay, I do feel that the Lord is fitting me, by suffering and
separation, for the work to which he has called me; he leaves me
without a home, or the desire of one, and in that way prepares me for
situations, which, during the life-time of my dearest Mary, would have
been deeply trying. I bless God for the fourteen years uninterrupted
domestic happiness we enjoyed together, above all, for the seven years
spiritual communion in a common gracious Lord, who led us in unity of
faith and spirit to that work from which he has taken her so early to
himself, and from which, when the Lord dismisses me, I trust to ascend
and sing the song of Moses and the Lamb with her for ever and ever. My
great want is, more of Christ, more of his whole character; this I
purpose, by the Spirit's help, more to meditate on, that all that
hateful concern about self, that pollutes all I do, may be absorbed in
one only thought of how he may be glorified. What I feel I want, is
more holiness of spirit. I know the Lord is fitting me for his holy
presence, and that he is the chief desire of my soul; yet, oh! the
weakness of faith, the coldness of communion, the reserves of
dedication. Oh, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief!

A Mohammedan has been with me to-day, who is much alarmed at the
state of the city, and wants to fly, but sees not now any opening.
He told me, it was not this or that Pasha he cared about; but his
property, his life, and the females of his family. Oh, what a relief
to know, that my dear Mary is with her Lord; how light this makes my
present trials. Yesterday they were fighting from before sun-rise till
the afternoon, but could not effect an entrance into the city. The
Lord preserves us all in simple dependence on himself.

_August 2._ _Wednesday._--Accounts have arrived from the Hajjaj (Mecca
and Medina, &c.) stating the mortality from plague and cholera to be
most tremendous; many families that left this place on pilgrimage to
escape the troubles, in the midst of which we have so long been, have,
as we hear, suffered dreadfully. Thus God seems in wrath, making bare
his holy arm against this wretched nation in all its length and
breadth. My heart sometimes trembles for the dear brethren at Aleppo,
lest at the conclusion of the hot season it should break out there. My
only