from the land of Jordan, and the Hermonites, from the
hill Mizar. O Lord, only let thy love appear shining through the
clouds that surround me, and my soul will rejoice; it is only when the
adversary prevails so far as to say, He loves thee not, that my soul
is overwhelmed within me; for if I have not the Lord, whom have I? for
vile and worthless as all my manifestations of love have been, cold
and dead as all my worship, low and doubting as all my confidence has
been, yet Lord, all my desire is to love thee better and serve thee
more singally, who art infinitely worthy of all love and all service.
How strong our tower seems till the Lord blow upon its foundations,
and then much that looked so fair, flies like the chaff of the summer
threshing floor, and meet it is, if the immoveable parts of Christ's
own building be found to connect the poor fluttering soul with the
Rock of Ages. Oh may my soul drink daily more and more deeply into
that spirit of adoption and love, and assurance of the Lord's favour,
that gilded the last year of my dear, dear Mary's life.--Lord, I feel
I am a very child; but Lord, lead thou me by thine own right hand. Oh
my heart longs for Christian communion--some one to whom I can talk of
Jesus and his ways, and with whom I may take counsel; yet it now seems
as though many months must elapse before our dear friends can come
from Aleppo, but the Lord knows what is best, and to him we leave all
our cares, and the providing for all our necessities. I pray the Lord
to pour down his Holy Spirit upon my poor heart, and strengthen it for
trials. It was one of my dearest Mary's greatest comforts, as it has
been mine, to know so many of those who were dear to the Lord, and had
purposed wholly to follow him, were praying for our guidance and
welfare;--this used to be in our evening walks, on the roof of our
house, a theme of thanksgiving, and used daily to draw out our hearts
to the Lord for the continual dew of his blessing upon them. Oh when
they hear of all the Lord's dealing, may their spirits be stirred up
within them to pray that I may be filled with him who filleth all in
all. I long to love my Eternal God--Father, Son, and Spirit, more with
all my undivided heart; the coldness of my love--the lowness of my
desires is my abiding sorrow.

_May 28._--To-day came letters from England, but Oh, how strangely
altered; those very letters which would have animated anew all our
endeavours, and led us to praise G