u may say that if you like, if it will help your
argument,) don't let travellin' Yankee clockmakers tell such stories,
against _your_ justice and _our_ pride as that of the Prince de
Joinville and his horse.'"

CHAPTER VII. LIFE IN THE COUNTRY.

"Here," said Mr. Sick, "is an invitation for you and me, and minister to
go and visit Sir Littleeared Bighead, down to Yorkshire. You can go if
you like, and for once, p'raps it's worth goin' to see how these chaps
first kill time, and then how time kills them in turn. Eatin',
drinkin', sleepin', growlin', fowlin', and huntin' kills time; and
gout, aperplexy, dispepsy, and blue devils kills them. They are like two
fightin' dogs, one dies of the thrashin' he gets, and t'other dies of
the wounds he got a killin' of him. Tit for tat; what's sarce for the
goose, is sarce for the gander.

"If you want to go, Minister will go with you; but hang me if I do. The
only thing is, it'll puzzle you to get him away, if he gets down there.
You never see such a crotchical old critter in your life as he is. He
flies right off the handle for nothin'. He goes strayin' away off in the
fields and gullies, a browsin' about with a hammer, crackin' up bits of
stones like walnuts, or pickin' up old weeds, faded flowers, and what
not; and stands starin' at 'em for ever so long, through his eye-glass,
and keeps a savin' to himself, 'Wonderful provision of natur!' Airth and
seas! what does he mean? How long would a man live on such provision, I
should like to know, as them bitter yarbs.

"Well, then, he'll jist as soon set down and jaw away by the hour
together with a dirty-faced, stupid little poodle lookin' child, as
if it was a nice spry little dog he was a trainin' of for treein'
partridges; or talk poetry with the galls, or corn-law with the
patriots, or any thing. Nothin' comes amiss to him.

"But what provokes me, is to hear him go blartin' all over the country
about home scenes, and beautiful landscape, and rich vardure. My sakes,
the vardure here is so deep, it looks like mournin'; it's actilly
dismal. Then there's no water to give light to the pictur, and no sun to
cheer it; and the hedges are all square; and the lime trees are as stiff
as an old gall that was once pretty, and has grow'd proud on the memory
of it.

"I don't like their landscape a bit, there ain't no natur in it. Oh! if
you go, take him along with you, for he will put you in consait of all
you see, except reform, diss