d-doctors, skary judges, and Chartist papers all the trouble of
findin' excuses. And, if that didn't do, Chinese like, they'd take the
whole crowd present and sarve _them_ out. They'd be sure to catch the
right one then. I wouldn't shed blood, because that's horrid; it shocks
all Christian people, philosophisin' legislators, sentimental ladies,
and spooney gentlemen. It's horrid barbarous that, is sheddin' blood; I
wouldn't do that, I'd jist hang him. A strong cord tied tight round his
neck would keep that precious mixtur, traitor's blood, all in as close
as if his mouth was corked, wired, and white-leaded, like a champagne
bottle.

"Oh dear! these are the fellers that come out a travellin' among us,
and sayin' the difference atween you and us is 'the absence of loyalty.'
I've heard tell a great deal of that loyalty, but I've seen precious
little of it, since I've been here, that's a fact. I've always told you
these folks ain't what they used to be, and I see more and more, on
'em every day. Yes, the English are like their hosses, they are so fine
bred, there is nothin' left of 'em now but the hide, hair, and shoes.

"So Prince Albert is there in that room; I must get in there and see
him, for I have never sot eyes on him since I've been here, so here
goes. Onder, below there, look out for your corns, hawl your feet in,
like turtles, for I am a comin'. Take care o' your ribs, my old 'coons,
for my elbows are crooked. Who wants to grow? I'll squeeze you out as a
rollin'-pin does dough, and make you ten inches taller. I'll make good
figures of you, my fat boys and galls, I know. Look out for scaldin's
there. Here I am: it's me, Sam Slick, make way, or I'll walk right over
you, and cronch you like lobsters. 'Cheap talkin', or rather thinkin',
sais I; for in course I couldn't bawl that out in company here; they
don't understand fun, and would think it rude, and ongenteel. I have to
be shockin' cautious what I say here, for fear I might lower our great
nation in the eyes of foreigners. I have to look big and talk big the
whole blessed time, and I am tired of it. It ain't nateral to me; and,
besides braggin' and repudiatin' at the same time, is most as bad as
cantin' and swearin'. It kinder chokes me. I thought it all though, and
said it all to myself. 'And,' sais I, 'take your time, Sam; you can't do
it, no how, you can fix-it. You must wait your time, like other folks.
Your legs is tied, and your arms is tied down by the cr