et_. The most elegant critter in America is an Indgian
chief. The most elegant one in England is a noble. There is natur in
both. You will vow that's a crotchet of mine, but it's a fact; and I
will tell you how it is, some other time. For I opine the most charmin',
most nateral, least artificial, kindest, and condescendenest people here
are rael nobles. Younger children are the devil, half rank makes 'em
proud, and entire poverty makes 'em sour. _Strap pride on an empty puss,
and it puts a most beautiful edge on, it cuts like a razor_. They have
to assart their dignity, tother one's dignity don't want no assartin'.
It speaks for itself.

"I won't enter into particulars now. I want to shew you country life;
because if you don't want to hang yourself, don't tarry there, that's
all; go and look at 'em, but don't stay there. If you can't help it no
how, you can fix it, do it in three days; one to come, one to see, and
one to go. If you do that, and make the fust late, and the last airly,
you'll get through it; for it won't only make a day and a half, when
sumtotalized. We'll fancy it, that's better than the rael thing, any
time.

"So lets go to a country gentleman's house, or "landed," as they call
'em, cause they are so infarnally heavy. Well, his house is either an
old onconvenient up and down, crooked-laned place, bad lighted, bad
warmed, and shockin' cut up in small rooms; or a spic and span formal,
new one, havin' all or most, according to his puss, of those things,
about lord's houses, only on a smaller scale.

"Well, I'll arrive in time for dinner, I'll titivate myself up, and down
to drawin'-room, and whose the company that's to dine there? Why, cuss
'em, half a dozen of these gents own the country for miles round, so
they have to keep some company at the house, and the rest is neighbours.

"Now for goodness gracious sake, jist let's see who they be! Why one or
two poor parsons, that have nothin' new in 'em, and nothin' new on
'em, goodish sort of people too, only they larf a leetle, jist a leetle
louder at host's jokes, than at mine, at least, I suspicion it, 'cause I
never could see nothin' to larf at in his jokes. One or two country nobs
of brother landed gents, that look as big as if the whole of the three
per cent consols was in their breeches pockets; one or two damsels, that
was young once, but have confessed to bein' old maids, drop't the word
'Miss,' 'cause it sounded ridikilous, and took the title of 'M