quarter would jump out o' the winders, and break
their confounded necks to save their lives, and then the half that's
left, would he jist about half too many for comfort.

"My first party to-night wus a conversation one; that is for them that
_could_ talk; as for me I couldn't talk a bit, and all I could think
was, 'how infarnal hot it is! I wish I could get in!' or, 'oh dear, if
I could only get out!' It was a scientific party, a mob o' men. Well,
every body expected somebody would be squashed to death, and so ladies
went, for they always go to executions. They've got a kinder nateral
taste for the horrors, have women. They like to see people hanged or
trod to death, when they can get a chance. It _was_ a conversation
warn't it? that's all. I couldn't understand a word I heard. Trap shale
Greywachy; a petrified snail, the most important discovery of modern
times. Bank governor's machine weighs sovereigns, light ones go to the
right, and heavy ones to the left.

"'Stop,' says I, 'if you mean the sovereign people here, there are none
on 'em light. Right and left is both monstrous heavy; all over weight,
every one on 'em. I'm squeezed to death.'

"'Very good, Mr. Slick. Let me introduce you to ----,' they are whipt
off in the current, and I don't see 'em again no more. 'A beautiful shew
of flowers, Madam, at the garden: they are all in full blow now. The
rhododendron--had a tooth pulled when she was asleep.' 'Please to let me
pass, Sir.' 'With all my heart, Miss, if I could; but I can't move; if I
could I would down on the carpet, and you should walk over me. Take care
of your feet, Miss, I am off of mine. Lord bless me! what's this? why as
I am a livin' sinner, it's half her frock hitched on to my coat button.
Now I know what that scream meant.'

"'How do you do, Mr. Slick? When did you come?' 'Why I came--' he
is turned round, and shoved out o' hearin.' 'Xanthian marbles at the
British Museum are quite wonderful; got into his throat, the doctor
turned him upside down, stood him on his head, and out it came--his own
tunnel was too small.' 'Oh, Sir, you are cuttin' me.' 'Me, Miss! Where
had I the pleasure of seein' you before, I never cut a lady in my life,
could'nt do so rude a thing. Havn't the honour to recollect you.' 'Oh,
Sir, take it away, it cuts me.' Poor thing, she is distracted, I don't
wonder. She's drove crazy, though I think she must have been mad to come
here at all. 'Your hat, Sir.' 'Oh, that cussed Fre