from this that I wish to impose any bonds upon
generosity; let her go to what lengths she will, so that she go a steady
course, not at random. It is possible to bestow gifts in such a manner
that each of those who receive them, although he shares them with many
others, may yet feel himself to be distinguished from the common herd.
Let each man have some peculiarity about his gift which may make him
consider himself more highly favoured than the rest. He may say, "I
received the same present that he did, but I never asked for it." "I
received the same present, but mine was given me after a few days,
whereas he had earned it by long service." "Others have the same
present, but it was not given to them with the same courtesy and
gracious words with which it was given to me." "That man got it because
he asked for it; I did not ask." "That man received it as well as I, but
then he could easily return it; one has great expectations from a rich
man, old and childless, as he is; whereas in giving the same present to
me he really gave more, because he gave it without the hope of receiving
any return for it." Just as a courtesan divides her favours among
many men, so that no one of her friends is without some proof of her
affection, so let him who wishes his benefits to be prized consider how
he may at the same time gratify many men, and nevertheless give each one
of them some especial mark of favour to distinguish him from the rest.

XV. I am no advocate of slackness in giving benefits: the more and the
greater they are, the more praise they will bring to the giver. Yet
let them be given with discretion; for what is given carelessly and
recklessly can please no one. Whoever, therefore, supposes that in
giving this advice I wish to restrict benevolence and to confine it to
narrower limits, entirely mistakes the object of my warning. What virtue
do we admire more than benevolence? Which do we encourage more? Who
ought to applaud it more than we Stoics, who preach the brotherhood of
the human race? What then is it? Since no impulse of the human mind can
be approved of, even though it springs from a right feeling, unless it
be made into a virtue by discretion, I forbid generosity to degenerate
into extravagance. It is, indeed, pleasant to receive a benefit with
open arms, when reason bestows it upon the worthy, not when it is flung
hither or thither thoughtlessly and at random; this alone we care to
display and claim as our own. Can