to remind him of it.
The rule for the giver and receiver of a benefit is, that the one should
straightway forget that he has given, the other should never forget that
he has received it.

XI. A constant reference to one's own services wounds our friend's
feelings. Like the man who was saved from the proscription under
the triumvirate by one of Caesar's friends, and afterwards found it
impossible to endure his preserver's arrogance, they wish to cry, "Give
me back to Caesar." How long will you go on saying, "I saved you, I
snatched you from the jaws of death?" This is indeed life, if I remember
it by my own will, but death if I remember it at yours; I owe you
nothing, if you saved me merely in order to have some one to point at.
How long do you mean to lead me about? how long do you mean to forbid
me to forget my adventure? If I had been a defeated enemy, I should
have been led in triumph but once. We ought not to speak of the benefits
which we have conferred; to remind men of them is to ask them to return
them. We should not obtrude them, or recall the memory of them; you
should only remind a man of what you have given him by giving him
something else. We ought not even to tell others of our good deeds.
He who confers a benefit should be silent, it should be told by the
receiver; for otherwise you may receive the retort which was made to one
who was everywhere boasting of the benefit which he had conferred: "You
will not deny," said his victim, "that you have received a return for
it?" "When?" asked he. "Often," said the other, "and in many places,
that is, wherever and whenever you have told the story." What need is
there for you to speak, and to take the place which belongs to another?
There is a man who can tell the story in a way much more to your credit,
and thus you will gain glory for not telling it your self. You would
think me ungrateful if, through your own silence, no one is to know of
your benefit. So far from doing this, even if any one tells the story in
our presence, we ought to make answer, "He does indeed deserve much more
than this, and I am aware that I have not hitherto done any great things
for him, although I wish to do so." This should not be said jokingly,
nor yet with that air by which some persons repel those whom they
especially wish to attract. In addition to this, we ought to act with
the greatest politeness towards such persons. If the farmer ceases his
labours after he has put in the seed