fficulties about taking back the money which they have lent;
in the same way, it is just as right that a benefit should be returned,
as it is wrong to ask any one to return it. The best man is he who gives
readily, never asks for any return, and is delighted when the return
is made, because, having really and truly forgotten what he gave, he
receives it as though it were a present.

XVIII. Some men not only give, but even receive benefit haughtily, a
mistake into which we ought not to fall: for now let us cross over to
the other side of the subject, and consider how men should behave when
they receive benefits. Every function which is performed by two persons
makes equal demands upon both: after you have considered what a father
ought to be, you will perceive that there remains an equal task, that
of considering what a son ought to be: a husband has certain duties,
but those of a wife are no less important. Each of these give and take
equally, and each require a similar rule of life, which, as Hecaton
observes, is hard to follow: indeed, it is difficult for us to attain
to virtue, or even to anything that comes near virtue: for we ought not
only to act virtuously but to do so upon principle. We ought to follow
this guide throughout our lives, and to do everything great and small
according to its dictates: according as virtue prompts us we ought both
to give and to receive. Now she will declare at the outset that we ought
not to receive benefits from every man. "From whom, then, ought we to
receive them?" To answer you briefly, I should say, from those to whom
we have given them. Let us consider whether we ought not to be even more
careful in choosing to whom we should owe than to whom we should give.
For even supposing that no unpleasantness should result (and very much
always does), still it is a great misery to be indebted to a man to whom
you do not wish to be under an obligation; whereas it is most delightful
to receive a benefit from one whom you can love even after he has
wronged you, and when the pleasure which you feel in his friendship is
justified by the grounds on which it is based. Nothing is more wretched
for a modest and honourable man than to feel it to be his duty to love
one whom it does not please him to love. I must constantly remind you
that I do not speak of wise men, who take pleasure in everything that is
their duty, who have their feelings under command, and are able to lay
down whatever law they