ithstand his entreaties. Let him see
to it; he will blame himself, not me." Not so: you he will blame, and
deservedly; when he comes to his right mind, when the frenzy which
now excites him has left him, how can he help hating the man who has
assisted him to harm and to endanger himself? It is a cruel kindness to
allow one's self to be won over into granting that which injures those
who beg for it. Just as it is the noblest of acts to save men from harm
against their will, so it is but hatred, under the mask of civility, to
grant what is harmful to those who ask for it. Let us confer benefits of
such a kind, that the more they are made use of the better they please,
and which never can turn into injuries. I never will give money to a man
if I know that he will pay it to an adulteress, nor will I be found in
connexion with any wicked act or plan; if possible, I will restrain men
from crime; if not, at least I will never assist them in it. Whether my
friend be driven into doing wrong by anger, or seduced from the path of
safety by the heat of ambition, he shall never gain the means of doing
mischief except from himself, nor will I enable him one day to say,
"He ruined me out of love for me." Our friends often give us what our
enemies wish us to receive; we are driven by the unseasonable fondness
of the former into the ruin which the latter hope will befall us. Yet,
often as it is the case, what can be more shameful than that there
should be no difference between a benefit and hatred?

XV. Let us never bestow gifts which may recoil upon us to our shame.
As the sum total of friendship consists in making our friends equal to
ourselves, we ought to consider the interests of both parties; I must
give to him that wants, yet so that I do not want myself; I must help
him who is perishing, yet so that I do not perish myself, unless by so
doing I can save a great man or a great cause. I must give no benefit
which it would disgrace me to ask for. I ought not to make a small
benefit appear a great one, nor allow great benefits to be regarded as
small; for although it destroys all feeling of gratitude to treat what
you give like a creditor, yet you do not reproach a man, but merely
set off your gift to the best advantage by letting him know what it is
worth. Every man must consider what his resources and powers are, so
that we may not give either more or less than we are able. We must also
consider the character and position of the per