hemselves to
us, so that the only delay is caused by the modesty of the receiver.
The best thing of all is to anticipate a person's wishes; the next, to
follow them; the former is the better course, to be beforehand with our
friends by giving them what they want before they ask us for it, for the
value of a gift is much enhanced by sparing an honest man the misery of
asking for it with confusion and blushes. He who gets what he asked
for does not get it for nothing, for indeed, as our austere ancestors
thought, nothing is so dear as that which is bought by prayers. Men
would be much more modest in their petitions to heaven, if these had to
be made publicly; so that even when addressing the gods, before whom
we can with all honour bend our knees, we prefer to pray silently and
within ourselves.

II. It is unpleasant, burdensome, and covers one with shame to have to
say, "Give me." You should spare your friends, and those whom you wish
to make your friends, from having to do this; however quick he may be,
a man gives too late who gives what he has been asked for. We ought,
therefore, to divine every man's wishes, and when we have discovered
them, to set him free from the hard necessity of asking; you may be sure
that a benefit which comes unasked will be delightful and will not be
forgotten. If we do not succeed in anticipating our friends, let us at
any rate cut them short when they ask us for anything, so that we may
appear to be reminded of what we meant to do, rather than to have been
asked to do it. Let us assent at once, and by our promptness make it
appear that we meant to do so even before we were solicited. As in
dealing with sick persons much depends upon when food is given, and
plain water given at the right moment sometimes acts as a remedy, so
a benefit, however slight and commonplace it may be, if it be promptly
given without losing a moment of time, gains enormously in importance,
and wins our gratitude more than a far more valuable present given after
long waiting and deliberation. One who gives so readily must needs give
with good will; he therefore gives cheerfully and shows his disposition
in his countenance.

III. Many who bestow immense benefits spoil them by their silence or
slowness of speech, which gives them an air of moroseness, as they say
"yes" with a face which seems to say "no." How much better is it to join
kind words to kind actions, and to enhance the value of our gifts by a
civil and gr