up the Editorship of this most valuable
periodical, has earned the grateful thanks of the whole
Diocese."

_Chichester Diocesan Gazette._

* * *

"A ridiculous fad that some society ladies are adopting at the
present time is not to place any month on the date of their
correspondence, simply giving the day of the year. Thus to-day
will be marked '34, 1914.' This is not very difficult, but when
it comes to, say, '271, 14,' it will need more than a little
calculation to discover the actual date."

_Pall Mall Gazette_ (_Feb. 4th_).

Even "to-day" is too difficult for our contemporary.

* * *

"POTATOES, POTATEOS."

_Advt. in "Bedale Chronicle"_ (_its full title being "Bedale,
Leyburn and Hawes Chronicle," but that would make the name of
the paper longer than the quotation from it--always a mistake._)

We don't care for the second helping.

* * *

"'Ha! ha!' the others laugh in their native tongue."--_Evening
Dispatch._

You should hear us gargle in German.

* * *

The Editor of _Punch_ has reproved his Dramatic Critic for referring to
_It_, in _The Darling of the Gods_, as "a precocious babe." He is
assured that Mr. BURTIE, who plays this neutral part, "has seen some
five-and-twenty summers, and has advanced intellectual views about most
things." _Mr. Punch's_ Dramatic Critic has been instructed to "give him
double bowing" by way of deferential compensation.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _The Colonel._ "Dash it, Sir, what do you mean by not
having a light on your confounded hoop?"]

* * * * *

BOWLES WITHOUT A BIAS.

[With the author's congratulations to "Cap'n" TOMMY BOWLES on
the appearance of his new quarterly review, _The Candid_, whose
declared aim is "to deal with Public Affairs faithfully and
frankly ... and without Party bias." Among its contents are
articles on "The New Corruption: The Caucus and the Sale of
Honours," and "An Opposition Impotent."]

I know a man of simple mind,
Gamaliel Nibbs by name,
Whose early faith in human kind
Burned like a Vestal flame;
No wind of doubt that stirs the dust
Fluttered that bright and constant taper;
But oh, he had his dearest trust
Pinned to his daily paper.

Not once he paused awhile to ask
Whence was their wisdom caught
Who undertook the ni