ing
'ere; you ain't in the haviation corps."]

* * * * *

"FOR PROFESSIONAL SERVICES."

"You know this sort of thing isn't good enough," said I, returning the
document to Minerva.

"His charges are certainly high," observed the lady of the house; "but I
don't think, Jack, we could get as good a doctor anywhere for less
money."

"I don't complain about the charges; I suppose they are all right. What
I object to is this pompous way of telling me I am in his debt: '_Mr.
John Spratt to Dr. Thom. For Professional Services to date, Ten
Guineas_.'"

"But, my dear, they all do it like that."

"Then they shouldn't. Tradesmen give full particulars of all charges
made for their services: why not doctors?"

"Oh, they would never agree to _that_, Jack!" said Minerva in surprise.
"It isn't etiquette. After all, a doctor is a doctor!"

"Let us hope so. At times I doubt it. But that is not the story. How do
you suppose I am to check this account without the necessary details?"

"My dear," exclaimed Minerva, "how positively quaint you are! One never
dreams of checking a doctor's account; one simply pays. Imagine asking a
doctor for an invoice! The idea!"

"And a jolly good idea too," I said. "Then we should know where we were.
Would you pass your butcher's bills if they merely said, '_For
Commercial Services to date_'?"

"That is quite a different matter. Doctors are not butchers."

"Sometimes surgeons are, so it comes to much the same. Anyhow, I object
to paying money without knowing what for. Let's apply for an invoice, if
only for the principle of the thing."

"We'll do nothing of the sort," said Minerva rather sharply. "It sounds
so mean, Jack, to ask a doctor for a detailed account--almost as if we
didn't trust him."

"I shall mention that to the butcher next time I see him, and to the
other tradesmen. It will save you a lot of trouble about the domestic
accounts."

"Don't be absurd. If you're so anxious to have those petty details I
think I can remember all the doctor's visits for you, without worrying
him."

I drew out a sheet of account-paper.

"The first time he came this year," she began, "was to attend Tommy. You
remember--after that New Year party. He called twice--no, three times to
see him."

"'_Item_ 1,' I wrote. '_To overhauling and repairing Tommy's tummy, time
and material, say 15s_.' When Tommy next overeats himself I shall attend
to his little business myself.