be he didn't pretend to know.

I have no inside knowledge of the I. P. Company, except that its stock
doesn't appear among the use of Trustee Securities. But whatever
trustees may think of it, it did declare at the end of 1913 (after a
somewhat prolonged silence) a decent dividend on its ordinary shares.
Maybe this was by reason of its innate honesty; maybe it was simply
because it hadn't the heart to deny his rights to such a man as Roberts.
Anyhow it declared its dividend, and, what is more, proceeded to pay it
in the manner usual to limited companies.

And so in due course Roberts received a formidable-looking piece of
paper, with the title, in very impressive lettering, "DIVIDEND WARRANT,"
and below the figures L1 8s. 3d.

There must be many, among the uninstructed classes, who have no idea
what a dividend warrant may be, but few would, I think, at once take the
dismal view of the thing that Roberts took.

By return of post the Secretary of the Income Producer Company, Limited,
received an envelope addressed in a shaky hand and enclosing a postal
order for a pound, together with a letter from Roberts, in which he
prayed for a few days of grace, in which a poor but honest old man might
raise the further 8s. 3d. thus demanded of him by legal process.

* * * * *

"The bride will be supported by five piers."

_Evening Standard._

Read this aloud to your wife and see if she isn't jealous. And then try
her with this from _The Greater Britain Messenger_:--

"Big Dams and what they mean to the Church."

She ought to be shocked.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _McTavish._ "Noo, ma frien', see me sendin' the wee ba'
scootin' ower the bonny bur-r-r-n!"]

[Illustration: _McTavish._ (_to caddie_). "Awa', ye great sumph, an'
tak' it oot o' yon dur-r-r-ty ditch!"]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)

MR. CHARLES INGE has brought to the shaping of _Square Pegs_ (METHUEN)
some good and healthy thoughts about life and love and the waste of
both, so that you get a wholesome impression of soundness and sincerity.
And there's a dedication which makes one think the author is writing of
realities which have been seen at close quarters. _Bernard Farquharson_,
the big-hearted colonial, returning to England and seeing the waste of
potentially good men in preposterous casual jobs wh