him. That you are the best tailor at city called London. I
desiderate to deal with in England. On the receipt of this note,
genial forward me your samples by returning mail together with
price list. I will be pleased to open a great business with
you.... I will gladly submit your good reply by my great
opportunities, hoping you will not fail. Yours faithfully ----"

* * * * *

"To name a girl after a battle or other public event," says _The Daily
News_, "is positively wicked, as it gives away her age. The numerous
'Almas' christened during the Crimean War had good reason to know this;
so have the 'Jubilees' and the 'Trafalgars.'" Quite so. We know a dear
lady who might easily pass for twenty if her parents had not named her
"Ramillies."

* * * * *

THE GIFT HORSE.

[Illustration: Mr. Asquith. "THERE YOU ARE, SIR; WARRANTED QUIET TO RIDE
OR DRIVE. HE'S BY 'CONVERSATIONS' OUT OF 'PARLIAMENT,' AND I'VE CALLED
HIM 'THE LIMIT.'"

Mr. Bonar Law. "MANY THANKS, BUT I DON'T SEEM TO CARE MUCH FOR HIS
TEETH."]

* * * * *

QUESTION TIME.

[Illustration: _Effie._ "Mummy, when you and Daddy was engaged did you
engage him or did he engage you?"]

* * * * *

THE THREE WISHES.

(_A Story for Little Innocents._)

Once upon the usual time, a poor but comparatively honest woodcutter
dwelt in a tiny hut on the edge of a great forest. Since he was so poor,
his fare was simplicity itself: black bread and a cheese of goat's milk,
washed down by draughts of cold water bottled at a neighbouring
spring--in a word, just those articles of food which your dear mamma has
nowadays to order specially from the most expensive shops.

Well, one winter evening the poor man was enjoying (if you can call it
so) his frugal supper as above, when there came a gentle tap at the
door; and on opening it he perceived upon the threshold a very old woman
dressed in a cloak of faded rags. She was so old and so remarkably ugly
that had she been a duchess not the most inventive of reporters could
have done better for her than "distinguished looking." So the
woodcutter, not unnaturally, regarded his visitor with some suspicion.

"Kind Sir," quavered the old woman, "I perish with hunger. Grant me, I
entreat you, a crust of bread."

"Ah!" said the woodcutter--to gain time. He was, of course, well aware
that th