up and
asked her: "Why did you run away?" she tossed her head and said: "That
sort of company does not suit me." "What on earth do you mean, you were
so awfully fond of Mad., and besides she is really lovely." That's true
enough, she said; but it was awfully tactless of her to tell me of all
that--you know what. Such an intimacy behind her parents' backs _cannot
possibly lead to_ happiness. Then I got in such a fearful temper and
said: "Oh do shut up. Father and Mother did not know anything about
Viktor either, and you were happy enough then. It is just the secrecy
that makes one so happy." Then she said very softly: "Dear Grete, you
too will change your views," and then we did not say another word. But I
was awfully angry over her meanness; for first of all she wanted to hear
the whole story, although Mad. never offered to tell her, and now she
pretends that _she_ did not wish it. If I only knew where to find Mad. I
would warn her. Anyhow, this day week at 7 I shall take care to be in
W. Street, and perhaps I may meet her, for she probably has a private
lesson somewhere in that neighborhood.

January 24th. Mother is very ill again to-day, _in spite of_ the
operation. I have decided that I won't go on Sunday to the Brs. although
Jeno will be there, and that I won't wait about for Mademoiselle on
Monday. I have not told Hella anything about this for she would probably
say it was very stupid of me, but I would rather not; not because Dora
has twice spoken to me pointedly about a _clear conscience_, but because
I don't enjoy anything when Mother is ill.

January 26th. Mother is an angel. Yesterday she asked Aunt Dora: "By the
way, Dora, has Grete put a fresh lace tucker in her blue frock, ready
for the Brs. to-morrow?" Then I said: "I'm not going Mother," and Mother
asked: "But why not, surely not on my account?" Then I rushed up to her
and said: "I can't enjoy anything when you are ill." And then Mother was
so awfully sweet, and she wept and said: "_Such moments_ make one forget
all pains and troubles. But really you _must_ go, besides I'm a good
deal better to-day, and to-morrow I shall be quite well again." So I
answered: "All right, I'll go, but only if you are _really_ well.
But you must tell me _honestly_." But in any case I shan't go to meet
Mademoiselle on Monday.

January 28th. It was Mathematics to-day at school, so I could not write
yesterday. We had a heavenly time on Sunday. We laughed till our sides
ached