ld" was a
humbug. That is quite likely, for after all she is nearly fourteen; and
at 14 one must _surely_ know a great deal already; it's impossible
that at that age a girl can continue to believe in the stork story, as
Anneliese is said!!! to have done. Hella thinks that I shall soon be
"developed" too, because I always have such black rings under my eyes. I
overheard Frau von Zerkwitz say, "Little brats;" but Hella says that
the head _hemmed loudly to drown it_. Afterwards Hella was in fits of
laughter over the expression "little brats" for her mother always says
about _such_ things; _Little brats_ like you have no concern with such
matters. Good Lord, when is one to learn all about it if one does not
know when one is nearly 14! As a matter of fact both Hella and I learned
these things _very early_, and it has not done us any harm. Hella's
mother always says that if one learns such things too early one gets to
look old; but of course that's nonsense. But why do mothers not want us
to know? I suppose they're just ashamed.

June 16th. Yesterday evening after we had gone to bed, Dora said: "What
were you really talking about to Z., or whatever her name is? The head
called me into the office to-day and told me that you had been talking
of improper matters. She said I must watch over you in _Mother's
place!_" Well that would be a fine thing! Besides, it all happened when
Mother was still alive. A mother never knows what children are talking
of together. Dora thinks that I shall have a written Reprimand from the
Staff Meeting. I should hate that because of Father; that would mean
another fearful row; although Father is really awfully sweet now; I have
not had a single rowing since Mother first got ill. It's quite true that
death makes people gentle, but why? Really one would have thought people
would get disagreeable, because they've been so much distressed. Last
week the tombstone was put up and we all went to see it. I should like
to go alone to the cemetery once at least, for one does not like to weep
before the others.

June 18th. The "innocent child" does not come to gym. any longer, at
least she has not been since _that affair_. We think she's afraid,
although we should not say anything to her. We punish her with _silent
contempt_, she'll _feel_ that _more than anything_. And thank goodness
she does not come to play tennis. I do hate people who are _deceitful_,
for one never knows where to have them. When a girl tell