nnsbruck. At dinner I hardly said a word, I was so
enraged at this deceitfulness. But there is more to come. At 7, or
whatever time it was, Dr. Pruckmuller turned up. Dora appeared in a
white blouse with a black bow, and had remained in her room till the
last minute so that I might not know what she was wearing. For I had
believed she would wear her black dress with the insertions, and so I
was wearing mine. Oh well, that did not matter. At supper he talked all
the time to Dora, so I purposely talked to Oswald. Then he said that on
March 1st he was going to be transferred to Vienna. Once more Dora was
not in the least astonished, so _she must have known all about it!_ But
now I remember quite well that in October the postman handed me a letter
for her with the Innsbruck postmark. So she was _corresponding with
him openly the whole time_, less than 6 months after Mother's death.
It really is too bad! But when I was chattering about the country, she
kicked me under the table as a hint not to laugh so frightfully. And
when my brother-in-law in spe, oh how it does make me laugh, two or
three years ago, in Goisern I think it was, we used to call Dora Inspe,
because she had said of Robert Warth and me: The bridal pair in spe! And
now she is in the same position. When he went away in the evening I was
trembling lest Father should invite him to the Christmas tree, but
thank goodness when Father asked: "What are you doing with yourself
to-morrow," he answered: "To-morrow I am spending the day with my
sister's family, she is married to a captain out Wieden way." Thank
goodness that came to nothing, for we are not at all in the mood for
visitors, especially the first Christmas without Mother. And if she knew
-- -- -- I wish I knew what really happens to the soul. Of course I gave
up believing in Heaven long ago; but the soul must go somewhere. There
are so many riddles, and they make one so unhappy; in a newspaper
feuilleton the other day I saw the title of a chapter: _The Riddle of
Love_. But _this_ riddle does not make people sad, as one can see by
Dora. Anyhow, all girls, that is all elder sisters, seem alike in this
respect. I remember what Hella told me about Lizzi's engagement. It is
true, she had first made his acquaintance in London, not at home; but
there was just the same deceitfulness. What on earth does it mean?
Would it not be much more kindly and reasonable to tell your sister
_everything_? Otherwise how can anyone exp