have." You ought to have seen how her mother
went on. "That's just it, that when you are barely 15 (I'm not 15 yet)
you should have nothing but _such_ things in your heads!" _Such_ things,
how absurd. At tea it was almost as dull as it was the other evening
at home; for the Herr Baron was there, that is, they all say Du to one
another now, for the wedding is to be in February, as soon as it is
settled whether the Baron is to stay in London or to be transferred to
Berlin. It must be funny to say "Du" to a strange man. Hella says she
soon got used to it, and that she likes Paul well enough. When he brings
Lizzi sweets, when he is taking her to the theatre, he always gives
Hella a box for herself. _Other_ people would certainly not do that, and
I know _other_ people who wouldn't accept it. When I got home, Father
said: Well, another time I think you'd better stay and sleep at the
Brs., and I said: I did not want to be a killjoy here. And Oswald said:
"What you need is a box on the ear," Father was luckily out of the room
already and so I said: "_Your_ children, if you ever have any, can be
kept in order by boxing their ears till they are green and blue, but you
have no rights over your sisters, Father told you so in Fieberbrunn."
"Oh, I know Father always backs you two up, he has done so from the
first." "Please don't draw me into your quarrels," said Dora, as if she
had been something quite different from me. And then Aunt Dora said: "I
do wish you would not keep on quarreling." "_I_ didn't begin it," said
I, and went away without saying goodnight; that is I went to Father's
room to say goodnight to him and I saw Aunt Dora in the hall, but I
_didn't_ say goodnight to Oswald and Dora, for I'm not going to put up
with _everything_. And now it's half past 11 already, for I have been
writing such a long time, and have cried such a lot, for I'm _very_
unhappy. Even Hella doesn't know how unhappy I am. I must go to bed
now; whether I shall sleep or not is another question. If I can possibly
manage it, I shall go alone to the cemetery to-morrow.

31st. Hella and I went to the cemetery to-day. Her father and mother
returned to Cracow yesterday evening, and she told her grandmother she
was going to spend the morning with me, and I said I was going to the
Brs., so we went alone to Potzleinsdorf. Hella went for a walk round the
cemetery while I went to darling Mother's grave. I am so unhappy; Hella
consoles me as much as she can, bu