this she said: Oh
no, it was better not; you are quite upset anyhow, you know what _she_
said: But my dear child, you will make yourself ill; you must not do
that on _my_ account!" Oh dear, I'm crying so that I can hardly write,
but I _must_ write, for there is still so much that's glorious to put
down, things that I must never, never forget, even if it should take me
a week to write. The great thing is that I shall simply live upon this
memory, and the only thing I want in life is that I may see _her_ once
more. Of course we took her some flowers on Friday, I lilies of the
valley with violets and tuberoses, and Hella Christmas roses. She was
delighted, and went directly to fetch 2 vases which her mother brought
in. She is as small as Frau Richter, and her hair is grey, she is
charming; but she is not in the least like Frau Doktor M. When we said
goodbye she offered us still more sweets, but since we were both nearly
crying already we did not want to take any more, but she wrapped them
nearly all up for us, saying: "To console you in your sorrow." From
anyone else it might have sounded ironical, but from her it was simply
lovely. There were 17 large sweets, and Hella gave me 9 of them and took
only 8 for herself. I shall eat only one every day, so that they will
last me 9 days. _Joy and sorrow combined!!_ Hella is not so frightfully
in love as I am, and yesterday she said, in joke of course: "It seems to
me that your whole world is foundered; I must pull you out, or you'll
be drowned." And then she asked me how I could have been so stupid as to
use the word _honeymoon_ to _her_, although she hemmed to warn me.
She said it really was utterly idiotic of me, and that the Frau Prof.
blushed. I did not notice it myself, but when her _husband_ came in, she
certainly did flush up like anything. Hella and I talked of quite a lot
of _other things of that sort_. I should so much have liked to ask her
whether she has given up going to church, for I think the Herr Prof.
really is a Jew, though he does not _look_ like one. For lots of other
men wear black beards. But I did not venture to ask, and Hella thinks
it is a very good thing I did not, for one _does not talk about such
things_. I wonder _whether she will have a baby_? Oh, it would be
horrible. Of course she may have entered into a _marriage_ contract,
that would have been the best way. However, Hella thinks that the
professor would not have agreed to anything of the kind. But