r girls, and she was not in the least disgusted or
angry but said: "Yes, it's the same struggle everywhere." Then I made use
of your favourite phrase and said: "Struggle, what do you mean? What I
really want to know about is being infected." Then she flushed up and
said: "Who's been talking to you about that? It seems to me that the
whole town is chattering about my unhappy cousin. You must see that _I_
can't tell you that." But I answered: "If you don't, who will? _You_
study medicine, and are seeing and talking about such things all day."
"No, no, my dear _child_ (you can imagine how furious that made me), you
are still much too young for _that sort of thing_." What do you think
of that, we are too young at 14 1/2, it's utterly absurd. I expect that
really her studies have not gone very far, and she would not admit it.
Anyhow, I stood up, and said: "I must not disturb you any longer," and
bowed and went away; but I thought to myself: "A fig for her and her
_studies_; fine sort of a doctor _she_'ll make!" What do you think
about it all? We shall still have to trust to the encyclopedia, and
after all a lot of what we can learn there is all right, and luckily we
know most things except the word segsual. Next winter I expect we shall
find it easier than we used to to get to the bookcase in your house. I
don't bow to the silly idiot any more.

But darling Rita, with regard to the "innocent child," I don't want to
influence you in any way, and I shan't be angry with you for preferring
an _unworthy_ person to me!!! Faithless though you are, I send you half
a million kisses, your ever faithful friend, H. P.S. I have been 4 days
writing this letter; tear it up, _whatever_ you do!!!

Now that I have copied the letter, I really can't see why Hella wants me
to tear it up. There's nothing so very dreadful in it. But there is one
thing I shan't be able to do for Hella, to help her in looking up things
in the encyclopedia. I think I should always feel that Mother would
suddenly come in and stand behind us. No, I simply can't do it.

August 13th. Through that stupid copying I have been prevented writing
about _my own_ affairs, although they are far more important. Last
Wednesday the Society for the Preservation of Natural Beauties had
arranged a great excursion to Inner-Lahn in breaks. Dora did not want
to go at first, but Father said that if it would give _us_ pleasure,
he would very much like to go with us, and Mother would be onl