ery cross child in her arms; we had not
rode far before I found the other passengers, all gentlemen, apparently
much annoyed by the child; for my part I sympathized with the poor
woman, got into a conversation with her--learned she was on her way to
Saratogy to see her husband, who was engaged there as a builder. Upon
arriving at Saratogy, the young woman requested me to hold her child--it
was fast asleep--until she stepped over to a new building to inquire
about her husband. I did so; she went away, and I never saw her from
that to this!"

A loud and prolonged laugh from his auditors followed this _tableau_ in
Uncle Joe's story. A little more rappee, and the Major proceeded:

"Well, it was very odd, I don't know how it was, but somehow or other I
was left with the child, and a plaguy time had I of it; the town
authorities refused to take charge of it, nobody else would; so by
Brandywine, there I was; the people seemed to be suspicious of
me--sniggered and went on as though I knew more about the woman and her
child than I let on. In short, I had to father the child, and provide
for it, and I did," said the Major, quite patriotically.

"Well, never mind, Uncle Joe," said Mrs. Bamberry; "that boy may pay you
yet--pay you for all your trouble; he's growing nicely, and will make a
fine man."

"So you really had to keep the child!" cried several.

"O yes," says the Major; "I was in for it; I got a nurse and had the
youngster taken care of. The hotels were crowded, very uncomfortable,
rooms wretched, small, damp, and dirty. The landlords were quite
independent, and the servants the most impudent set of extorting varlets
I ever encountered! To keep from starving, I did as others--bribed a
waiter to keep my plate supplied. At night they had what they called
'hops!' in other words, dances, shaking the whole house, and raising
such a noise and hullabaloo, with cracked horns, squeaky
fiddles--bawling and yelling, that no sailor boarding house could be
half so disturbant of the peace. By banks of Brandywine, I got enough of
such _folderols_; at the end of the week I asked for my bill, augmented
by some few sundries--it made my hair stand up. Now what do you suppose
my bill was, for one week, board, lodging, servants' _bribes_ and
sundries? I'll tell you," said the Major, "for you never could guess
it--it was forty-one dollars, fifty cents. I took my _protege_, bag and
baggage, and started for home. I was absent on this memorab