woods 'ere, do
manage to give a body tolerable sort of haccommodations; ha, but they'll
take care to look hout for the dollars. I don't know, tho', these
fellers 'ere appear tolerably clever; want me to ride hout, I suppose,
and see some of their Yankee lions. Haw! haw! _Lions!_ I wonder what
they'd say hif they saw Lun'un, and looked at St. Paul's once!"

Getting through his toilet--and it takes an Englishman as long to fix
his stiff cravat and that _stiffer_ and stauncher shirt-collar, and rub
his hat, than a Frenchman to rig out _tout ensemble_, to say nothing of
the gallons of water and dozens of towels he uses up in the
operation--John found the carriage waiting; he asked no questions, but
jumped in.

"Isn't there some others beside yourself going out, sir?" says the
driver, supposing he had the right man, or one of them.

"No; drive off--where are you going to drive me?"

"Mount Auburn, sir, the carriage was ordered for."

"Humph! Some of the _battle-grounds_, I suppose," John grunts to
himself, falls into a fit of English doggedness, and the coach drives
off.

Thomas Johns made little or no noise or confusion in the house,
consequently he was not known to the servants, and very little known to
the clerks. John Thomas was another person--he was all fuss and
feathers. He kept his bell ringing, and the servants rushing for towels
and water, water and towels, boots and beer, beer and boots, the English
papers, maps of America, &c., without cessation. He was John Thomas and
Thomas Johns, one and indivisible.

John got his ride, and returned to the hotel sulkier than ever; and by
the time he got unrobed of his pea-jackets and huge shawls about his
burly neck, he was telegraphed by a servant to come down; there was a
gentleman below on business with him. John foreswore business, but the
gentleman must see him, and up he came for that purpose. His
unmistakable _mug_ told he was "an officer."

"I've a bill against you, sir, $368,20. Must be paid immediately!" said
the presenter, peremptorily.

John was thunderstruck.

"Me, and be hanged to ye!" says John, getting his breath.

"Yes, sir, for goods packed at Smith & Brown's, for Nova Scotia. The
bill was to be paid this morning, as you agreed, but you told the clerk
to go to the d--l! Won't do, that sort of work, here. Pay the bill, or
you must go with me!"

John, when he found himself in custody, swore it was some infernal
Yankee scheme to gouge him, and he