nds and cut loose. They did the Grizzly Bear and the Mountain Goat
and the Turkey Trot and the Bunny Hug and the Kangaroo Flop and the
Duck Waddle and the Giraffe Jump and the Rhinoceros Roll and the Walrus
Wiggle and the Crocodile Splash and the Apache and the Comanche and the
Bowery Twist and the Hula Hula Glide, etc., etc., etc.

The Fire Department began carrying out Bodies at 12:30 A. M.. Some of
the Survivors were hurrying Home through the Alleys, wondering if they
could fix up Alibis. At Daybreak many Prominent Citizens were found
Miles from their Homes wandering aimlessly in Roadways and shouting,
"Take it away!"

Next afternoon the Male Parent of Madeleine crawled out from under the
Wreckage and said to his Only Daughter: "You are too Progressive for
us Farmers. Take your Trained Troupe of Society Acrobats and get out
of Town. The White Caps are now gathering in the Outskirts."

Madeleine simply retorted that the Dances were being done in the most
Exclusive Homes.

An Exclusive Home is one from which the Police are Excluded.

Of course she never dared to return to her Birthplace after this
Scandalous Performance.

She had to remain in the Cruel City as the free and unrestricted Wife
of a Cotillion Leader with an Income of $22.00 a Minute.

MORAL: The Pioneer must ever brave Hardships.

EVERYBODY'S FRIEND AND THE LINE BUCKER

In a sequestered Dump lived two Urchins, Edgar and Rufus, who went to
the Post with about an equal Handicap.

They got away together down the broad Avenue of Hope which leads one
Lad over the hills and far away to the United States Senate Chamber and
guides another unerringly to the Federal Pen near Leavenworth, Kansas.

When Edgar was a Tootsey he received a frequent dusting with Extreme
Violet Talcum Powder.

About the same time Rufus was propped up to look at Pictures of
Napoleon and John L. Sullivan and Sitting Bull.

At School each was a trifle Dumb.

If Edgar fell down on an Exam, his Relatives would call a Mass Meeting
to express Regrets and hang Crape all over the Place.

If Rufus got balled up in his Answers, his immediate Kin would pat him
on the Back and tell him he was right and the Text-Book was wrong.

Edgar would emerge from the Feathers every morning to find his Parents
all lined up to wish him a new set of Police Regulations.

They held up the Rigid Forefinger and warned him that he was merely a
Grain of Dust and a Weakling and a poor juvenile M