ilding is coagulated with Millionaires who never will be
Caught until the Tin Box is opened in the Probate Court. Then the
Widow will get ready to take Boarders.

As soon as Father was bawled out as a Millionaire, it was up to Mother
to join a new kind of Club and have a Handle put on her Eye-Glasses.
She would practise in her room for Hours at a time, gripping the
Rocking Chair with both Hands and trying to get the real Bostonian
sound of "A" as in Lard.

Her efforts were not in Vain, for one Day when the Club Meeting broke
up, with the Lady President throwing Fits and a Copper guarding the
Ballot Box, the principal Insurgent was mentioned in the Public Prints
as a Popular Society Matron and Leader in the New Movement among Women.
They had to call her that or the Story of her shooting the Ink-Stand
at the Recording Secretary would not have been worth playing up on the
First Page.

It was a proud Morning for Gordon and Ethel when they saw all the
Pictures and learned that they were the immediate Descendants of the
Millionaire Promoter and the Popular Society Matron.

Gordon found himself endowed with a Social Status which enabled him, at
the Age of 23, to gain admission to an exclusive Club of 3,000 Members,
the object of which was to serve a 40-cent Table d'Hote every Noon to
as many as were willing to take a Chance.

Therefore, when he was yanked out of his 6-cylinder Car and stood up
before the Magistrate, charged with smearing up the Boulevard with the
Working Classes, the whole Reading Public was thrilled to hear of what
had happened to a Well-Known Clubman whose Father was a Millionaire
Promoter and whose Mother was a Popular Society Matron.

By this time Ethel was merely a Relation.

She had not come across in any Particular.

As a matter of Fact, she was not pulling down any Ribbons at Beauty
Shows, and toed in when she walked.

However, she was not discouraged. She eloped with a Chauffeur employed
in an 8-car Garage and next Day she was a Beautiful Heiress whose
Brother was a Well-Known Man about Town, the Mother being very
prominent in Club Work and remembered as the Wife of the Millionaire
Promoter.

After all this came out, Father still had between $3,000 and $4,000 and
the whole Family, including the Chauffeur, sat down to Prunes every
Morning.

But they were very Happy, for they were recognized in almost every Cafe
and their Relatives in the East were sending Christmas Cards.

MORAL: Som