ix Nights in each Week, and repay them every Christmas by
sending a Card showing a Frozen Stream in the Foreground, and Evergeen
Trees beyond.

In 1900 he was beginning to sit out some Numbers. Also, when he got
into his Evening Togs, his general Contour suggested that possibly he
had just swallowed a full-sized Watermelon without slicing it up. But
he was still Johnny-answer-the-bell when it came to Dancing Parties.

In 1910 he carried a little Balloon under each Eye and walked as if he
had Gravel in his Shoes. He was still trying to be Game, although he
had a different kind of Digestive Tablet in each Pocket and would
rather tackle Bridge than the Barn Dance.

The Path was becoming Lonely and the whispering Tress seemed tall and
forbidding. He decided to whistle for a Companion. The Dear Girls
had been dogging him for three Decades and he decided to let one of
them have her Wish at last.

He hunted up one aged 24 and broke the Glad News to her and she told
him not to rattle his Crutches over the Mosaic Floor as he went out the
Front Way.

He is now living at a Club organized as a Home for Men who have Gone
Wrong.

When he pushes the Button the Bell Hops match to see who will be Stuck.

MORAL: There is an Age Limit, even for Men.

THE COLLISION

Once in the dim dead Days beyond Recall, there lived a blue-eyed Gazook
named Steve.

We refer to the Period preceding the Uplift, when the Candidate wearing
the largest collar was the People's Choice for Alderman.

A Good Citizen wishing to open a Murder Parlor needed a couple of Black
Bottles, a Barrel of Sawdust and a Pull at the City Hall.

When he opened up, he threw the Key in the River and arranged to have
the Bodies taken out through the Alley so as not to impede Traffic in
the Main Thoroughfares.

Twelve months every Year marked the Open Season for every Game from
Pitch-and-Toss to Manslaughter.

Any one in search of Diversion could roll Kelly Pool at 10 Cents a Cue
in the Morning, go to the Track in the Afternoon, take in a 20-round
Scrap in the Evening and then Shoot at the Wheel a few times before
backing into the Flax.

The Police were instructed to make sure that all Push-Cart Peddlers
were properly Licensed.

Steve roamed the Wide-Open Town and spread his Bets both ways from the
Jack.

When he cut the String and began to back his Judgment he knew no Limit
except the Milky Way. Any time he rolled them, you could hear
considerable R