larence, and then, if there are any Children, the Neighbors will
have to take care of them."

"Do you not recognize me?" asked the Prisoner in low musical Tones,
fixing a passionate Gaze on the Court. "I am the Heroine of a Best
Seller. If I did not have these large Porcelain Orbs and the Bosom
heaving in Rag Time and the Hair swirling in Glorious Profusion, do you
suppose that a Member of the Upsilon Pajama Sorority would sit up
until 1 A. M. with Me and a Bottle of Queen Olives and a Box of Chocs?
If I made up like an ordinary Sadie and talked Straight Stuff, do you
think I could last through Ten Editions? I may not be Human, but I
can raise the Temperature of every Flathead from Bangor to San Antone."

"You are dead right," said the Court. "We couldn't keep house without
you."

So she proceeded to exit, sneeringly, her Garments rustling and a faint
Aroma of Violets lingering in her Wake, just as it does in the Red Book
that sells for $1.50.

The next Prisoner was a big handsome Buck with his Clothes recently
pressed and many Gloves.

"I want a Life Sentence for this Guy," said the learned Prosecutor.
"He is so crooked that a Straight Edge would cut him in a thousand
places. He would bite an Ear-Ring off of a Debutante or blow open a
Family Vault to unscrew the Handles from the Casket containing Father.
He promotes phoney Corporations and sells Florida Orange Groves that
have Crocodiles swimming around on top of them. He is a prize Bunk,
a two-handed Grafter, a Short-Change Artist and a Broadway Wolf. Slip
him the Limit."

"You've got me wrong, Steve," said the Prisoner, softly. "I used to be
a Depraved Character, but now I am the Big Hero. Under the revised
Code of Morals a Handy Boy who goes out and trims a Boob for everything
in his Kick becomes recognized as a Comedy Hit and every Seat on the
Lower Floor goes for two Bones. Instead of doing a Lock-Step to and
from the Broom Factory, I work up to a Dress Suit Finish and marry the
Swell Dame. And the Mob is with me. If it came to a Straw Vote
between me and Lyman Abbott, I would win by a City Block."

"The Gentleman speaks the Truth," said the Court. "In this Fair Land
we forgive a Man anything if his Work has Class. Instead of committing
you to the Pen, I shall arrange to spend the Evening with you."

The next was a tall snaky Female with black Beads all over her Person
and she was smoking a Cigarette, half closing her Eyes as she blew
Rings