en to its
knees." Our own opinion is that it will be a Germany beaten to a
frazzle.

***

There appears to be a great demand for small second-hand yachts. The
fact is connected, in well-informed circles, with the report that _The
Daily Mail_ contemplates taking up the anti-submarine question.

***

Some solicitors have been helping to run the gas works of a certain
Corporation during a strike. While commending this action, we admit
that we can conceive of nothing more likely to undermine the resolute
patriotism of the man in the street than a gas bill furnished by
solicitor.

***

Women are formally warned by the Ministry of Munitions against
using T.N.T. as a means of acquiring auburn hair. Any important
object striking the head--a chimney-pot or a bomb from an enemy
aeroplane--would be almost certain to cause an explosion, with
possible injury to the scalp.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "I'M COMING TO YOU WITH 'ARF A TON IN A MINUTE, SO
DON'T FRET YOURSELF, OLE PERISCOPE."]

* * * * *

GERMAN THOROUGHNESS AGAIN.

"TO HOLD POTATO CROP.

"NEW GERMAN FOOD DICTATOR WILL CONSUME ALL FOOD."--_Victoria Daily
Times_.

* * * * *

"An intelligent postal service has delivered those addressed to
1,000, Upper Grosvenor Street, W. 1, to the Ministry of Good at
Grosvenor House."--_Daily Mail_.

This is the first we have heard of this Ministry.

* * * * *

TO THE POTSDAM PACIFIST.

Now for the fourth time since you broke your word,
And started hacking through, the seasons' cycle
Brings Autumn on; the goose, devoted bird,
Prepares her shrift against the mass of MICHAEL;
Earth takes the dead leaves' stain,
And Peace, that hardy annual, sprouts again.

Yet why should _you_ support the Papal Chair
In fostering this recurrent apparition?
Never (we gather) were your hopes more fair,
Your _moral_ in a more superb condition;
Never did Victory's goal
Seem more adjacent to your sanguine soul.

HINDENBURG holds your British foes in baulk
Prior to trampling them to pulp like vermin;
Russia is at your mercy--you can walk
Through her to-morrow if you so determine;
There is no France to fight--
Your gallant WILLIE'S blade has "bled her white."

In England (as exposed by trusty