t of
charitable donations, and you will have to go and bid for anything
you want back. I'm very keen on that photograph, if only for
the sake of your pose and the elastic-side boots you affected
at that period. Everyone here is quite excited at the idea of
having Cousin Fred's portrait among the family likenesses in the
dining-room, and its particular place on the wall is practically
decided upon.

I shall probably let the braces go if necessary, but I shall
contest the ownership of the bowler up to a point.

Why not have your revenge by buying one or two of my things? There
is a choice pair of cotton socks, marked T.W., that I once got
from the laundry by mistake; they are much too large for me, but
should fit you nicely. There's a footbath too. It leaks a bit, but
your scientific knowledge will enable you to put it right. It's
a grand thing to have in the house, in case of a sudden rush of
blood to the head.

Cheerio!

Yours ever,

HARRY.

Petherton simply replied:--

SIR,--It is, I know, absolutely useless to make an appeal to you,
and I shall simply outbid you for the portrait if possible; if
not, I shall adopt other measures to prevent your enjoying your
ill-mannered triumph.

Yours faithfully,

F. PETHERTON.

The Auction was held last Wednesday. I didn't attend it, but got Miss
Gore-Langley to run up the price of the portrait as far as seemed
safe, on my behalf, which resulted in Mrs. Petherton getting it for L5
15s. I got the hat, but Mrs. Petherton outbid my agent for the braces.

DEAR FREDDY (I wrote), Wasn't it a roaring success--the Auction, I
mean? I didn't manage to attend, but have heard glowing accounts
from its promoter.

The most insignificant things, I hear, went for big prices; one
patriotic lady, I'm told, even going to L5 15s. for a faded
photograph of a veteran in the clothes of a most uninteresting
sartorial period. It was in a cheap wooden frame, of a pattern
that is quite out of the movement. Fancy, L5 15s.!

Did you buy anything?

In haste,

Yours, H.

If you have any stout safety-pins, lend me a couple, old boy. I failed
to secure the braces. They fetched 1s. 9d., which was greatly in
excess of their intrinsic value.

There has been no reply from Petherton to date.

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JOURNALISTIC CAN