al communiques admit defeat.

* * * * *

"The Poor's Piece appears to be a sort of No Man's Land, and ever
since the extinction of Vestrydom has been within the parochial
administrative parvenu of the Urban District Council."--_Essex
Paper_.

Who is this municipal upstart?

* * * * *

A SIGNIFICANT STEP.

The _Evening Post's_ Washington correspondent states: "Mr. Lloyd
George's speech at Glasgow is a significant step in the process
of winning the war by liplomatic strategy."--_Sydney Daily
Telegraph_.

There's many a slip 'twixt the dip and the lip; but "liplomatic" is
not a bad word.

* * * * *

THE MUD LARKS.

Nobody out here seems exactly infatuated with the politicians
nowadays. The Front Trenches have about as much use for the Front
Benches as a big-game hunter for mosquitoes. The bayonet professor
indicates his row of dummies and says to his lads, "Just imagine
they are Cabinet Ministers--go!" and in a clock-tick the heavens are
raining shreds of sacking and particles of straw. The demon bomber
fancies some prominent Parliamentarian is lurking in the opposite sap,
grits his teeth, and gets an extra five yards into his bowling.

But I am not entirely of the vulgar opinion. The finished politician
may not be a subject for odes, but a political education is a
great asset to any man. Our Mess President, William, once assisted
a friend to lose a parliamentary election, and his experience has
been invaluable to us. The moment we are tired of fighting and want
billets, the Squadron sits down where it is and the Skipper passes the
word along for William. William dusts his boots, adjusts his tie and
heads for the most prepossessing farm in sight. Arrived there he takes
off his hat to the dog, pats the pig, asks the cow after the calf,
salutes the farmer, curtseys to the farmeress, then turning to the
inevitable baby, exclaims in the language of the country, "Mong Jew,
kell jolly ong-fong" (Gosh, what a topping kid!), and bending tenderly
over it imprints a lingering kiss upon its indiarubber features and
wins the freedom of the farm. The Mess may make use of the kitchen;
the spare bed is at the Skipper's disposal; the cow will move up
and make room for the First Mate; the pig will be only too happy to
welcome the Subalterns to its modest abode.

Ordinary billeting officers stand