s exercise without progression.

_QUESTIONS_

_Q. What is a Constitution?_

_A. A concession to Liberty enabling her to talk herself to death._

_Q. What is the essential difference between one government and
another?_

_A. The price of life._

CHAPTER XVII

THE MORALS OF THE GIDDY GLOBE

According to Moses, the First Geographer, Immorality is an heirloom
handed down to us by our First Parents.

Men of Science, on the other hand, declare it to be merely the
psycho-neurotic reaction of climatic environment on the celliferous
organism.

In other words, Vice is nothing more than Virtue outside of its natural
geographical latitude.

This is clearly set forth in the accompanying Moral Map of the World in
which the familiar idiosyncrasies of Mankind which we are wont to
differentiate as Virtues or Vices are shown for the first time in their
proper geographical environment.

(_See Moral Map of the World._)

* * * * *

PART II

THE COUNTRIES OF THE EARTH

The Countries of the Earth may be divided into two Groups, the English
speaking countries and the Foreign Countries.

The English Speaking Countries which comprise the United States and the
British Empire occupy one fourth of the entire surface of the Globe.

The rest are just Foreign Countries.

CHAPTER XVIII

THE POLES

The Earth has three kinds of Poles, the Frigid Poles in the North and
South and the very hot Poles in the centre of Europe.

This chapter is about the North Pole.

The North Pole is the Geographical interrogation point of the Earth.

It is probably the only absolutely moral spot in the World.

Scientists declare it to be the site of the Garden of Eden, thus giving
colour to the popular notion that Eden was the original Roof Garden.

The only language that has ever been spoken at the North Pole is
English.

The language that Lieutenant Peary used when he found the footprint of
Doctor Cook on the Pole, whatever else it might be, was English, and the
language of the next discoverer, when he finds (or does not find) the
footprint of Lieutenant Peary, will probably be English too.

[Illustration: Map of THE ARCTIC OCEAN OR THE WHITE SEA]

Whatever use may be ultimately found for the North Pole, up to the
present time it has only been used for advertising purposes.

The frozen tracts that surround it bear the names of Adventurers,
Princes and Editors, and the very to