n the East and West by Salt Water. The Population
consists of one hundred million thirsty souls, some of whom are
Americans.

[Illustration: THE ORIGINAL STRAPHANGERS]

[Illustration]

Religious to a fault, and ambidexterously prodigal, they nevertheless
show signs of reverting to the condition of the Arboreal Anthropoids.

A race of Straphangers is developing. At certain hours of the day, they
may be seen seeking their habitations in great flocks, swinging from
strap to strap with loud cries and a peculiar whirling motion.

The Original inhabitants were Red Indians; these were supplanted by Pale
Pilgrims, who first settled the country and then settled the Indians.

[Illustration]

The Indian practice of painting and wearing feathers shocked the Pilgrim
Fathers and Pilgrim Mothers, but the Pilgrim Daughters made a note of
the fashions for future use.

The climate of the United States is bracing and stimulating; travellers
have even been known to compare the air to champagne but, though highly
exhilarating it is absolutely non-intoxicating.

[Illustration]

Prohibition Chemists after a careful analysis having discovered no
perceptible trace of Alcohol, The Anti-Saloon League has decided that
the use of the atmosphere shall be in no way restricted.

In large cities the sky is kept clean by means of tall Sky-Scrapers.
Nowhere is there a more impressive example of American inventive Genius
than the array of Sky-Scrapers seen from New York Harbour, day and
night, year in, year out, scraping away the germ-laden dust and refuse
and imparting a bright and cheerful gloss to the surface of the sky.

[Illustration]

Another object of interest in the harbour is the statue of a once
popular favourite.

People who remember her, say it is far from a flattering likeness.

The Capitol of the United States is Washington--named after a famous
Britisher who won American Independence from George the III, the fat
German King of unsound mind, then holding down the English Throne.

New York is the tallest and the noisiest city in the world. It contains
over Five million people speaking a Babel of twenty different languages
besides English.

* * *

The inhabitants of America are the most Moral and Patriotic people in
the World, and their army is second to none in bravery and won the World
War.

[Illustration: UNCLE SAM'S PHRENOLOGICAL CHART

1 Thirst 23 Aquasity
2 Self-e