The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104,
March 25, 1893, by Various

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Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, March 25, 1893

Author: Various

Release Date: September 22, 2007 [EBook #22724]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON ***

Produced by Lesley Halamek, Juliet Sutherland and the
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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Volume 104, March 25th 1893

edited by Sir Francis Burnand

[Illustration: THE PANGS OF MATRIMONY!!!

_Casual Acquaintance._ "HEAR YOU'RE TO BE MARRIED, MR. RIBBES.
CONGRATULATE YOU!"
_Mr. Ribbes._ "MUCH OBLIGED, BUT I DUNNO SO MUCH ABOUT CONGRATULATIONS.
IT'S CORSTIN' ME A PRETTY PENNY, I TELL YER. MRS. RIBBES AS IS TO BE,
SHE WANTS 'ER _TROUSSEAU_, YER KNOW; AN' THEN THERE'S THE FURNISHIN',
AN' THE LICENCE, AN' THE PARSON'S FEES; AN' THEN I 'AVE TO GIVE 'ER AN'
'ER SISTER A BIT O' JOOL'RY A-PIECE; AN' WOT WITH ONE THING AN' ANOTHER
--SHE'S A 'EAVY WOMAN, YER KNOW, THIRTEEN STUN ODD--WELL, I RECKON
SHE'LL 'A CORST ME PRETTY NEAR _TWO-AN'-ELEVEN A POUND_ AFORE I GIT 'ER
'OME!"]

* * * * *

SMALL BY DEGREES.

_A Story of Defiance not Defence._

There was once a Battalion of Volunteers with its full complement of
field, company, and non-commissioned officers, and rank and file. And
according to experts the Regiment was a most valuable addition to the
national defence. One day a General, covered over with gold lace and
wearing a cocked hat, rode up to the Colonel and called him out.

"Colonel," said the General, "we are thinking of giving over your
command to a C.O. of a Depot Centre. It won't interfere with you much
and give you less to do. You may still call yourself Colonel--not that
I call you so myself. I mean off parade."

But the Colonel did not seem to see it, and so he sent in his papers
and rode away.

Then the General from the War Office called up the two remaining Field
Officers.

"Majors" said he, "it seems to us we can help you a good deal by
appointing a Major from a service battalion as