re_, or to St. James's
'All, or the Alhambra, or elseveres in public meeting or privit pub,
and I'll pound him to a argymentative jelly fust, and drownd him in
public-speritted opinion arterwards!"

"SAMMY" (added Mr. WITLER, puffing and perspiring freely), "help
me in, and fill me a stiff glass o' Speshal Scotch; for I'm out of
breath, my boy!"

* * * * *

[Illustration: RATHER SUSPICIOUS.

_Mistress_ (_to Housekeeper, after "the Young Person" has left the
room_). "REALLY, WILKINS, I COULD NOT ENGAGE THAT YOUNG PERSON. SHE IS
TOO UGLY BY FAR!"

_Housekeeper._ "VERY SORRY, MUM. BUT YOU SAID _SO PARTICULARLY_ THAT
I WAS TO LOOK OUT FOR A GOOD PLAIN COOK,--'QUITE A PLAIN COOK,' YOU
SAID, MUM,--THAT I THOUGHT YOU HAD SOME PARTICULAR REASON----"]

* * * * *

VERY NATURAL.--Mrs. R. pays great attention to the Parliamentary
debates, and listens attentively while her Nephew reads the speeches
as reported in _The Times_. Last Thursday he was in the midst of the
discussion on the Welsh Liquor-Traffic Bill, and came to this: "Mr.
LLOYD-GEORGE, whose opening remarks were interrupted by a Count----"
Whereupon his Aunt exclaimed, "How very rude! What was the Count's
name? And how does a Count come to be in the House of Commons?"

* * * * *

PILL-DOCTOR HERDAL.

(_Translated from the Original Norwegian by Mr. Punch._)

THIRD ACT.

_On the right, a smart verandah, attached to_ Dr. HERDAL'S
_dwelling-house, and communicating with the Drawing-room and
Dispensary by glass-doors. On the left a tumble-down rockery,
with a headless plaster Mercury. In front, a lawn, with a
large silvered glass globe on a stand. Chairs and tables. All
the furniture is of galvanised iron. A sunset is seen going on
among the trees._

_Dr. Herdal_ (_comes out of Dispensary-door cautiously, and
whispers_). HILDA, are you in there?

[_Taps with fingers on Drawing-room door._

_Hilda_ (_comes out with a half-teasing smile_). Well--and how is the
Rainbow-powder getting on, Dr. HERDAL?

_Dr. Herd._ (_with enthusiasm_). It is getting on simply splendidly.
I sent the new Assistant out to take a little walk, so that he
should not be in the way. There is Arsenic in the powder, HILDA, and
Digitalis too, and Strychnine, and the best Beetle-killer!

_Hilda_ (_with happy, wondering eyes_). _Lots_ of Beetle-killer? And
you will