thought you'd never seen the crews at all.

_First W. I. M._ Bosh! I never said anything of the kind. I'm not
going to see the race this year, but I've often seen 'em practising
down at Putney. Everybody knows the coxswains have to stand up. How do
you suppose they could see to steer if they didn't? So where are you
now, with all your accurate information, eh?

_Second W. I. M._ I'm where I was before, and I know I'm right,
because my brother-in-law had a cousin who was at school with one of
the Coxes about ten years ago. [_A pause._

_Inquirer_ (_looking up from his sporting paper_). I say, I thought
the crews rowed in racing-boats.

_First W. I. M._ So they do.

_Inquirer._ Well, then, what does this mean? (_Reads._) "Both
yesterday and to-day Cambridge rowed with a bucket. They must improve
this if they want to win."

_First W. I. M._ (_smiling_). My dear fellow, they call their big
practising-boat a bucket.

_Second W. I. M._ No, they don't--they call it a tub.

_First W. I. M._ Well, tub or bucket, it's the same thing. (_To_
Inquirer.) What you read just now means that their practising-boat has
gone rotten, and they'll have to mend her up a bit.

_Inquirer_ (_dubiously_). But they don't row the race in a tub or a
bucket, do they?

_Second W. I. M._ No, they row in a Clinker-Clasper.

_Inquirer._ What the deuce is that?

_Second W. I. M._ (_plunging_). Oh, it's a specially fast kind
of racing-boat, built by CLINKER AND CLASPER. They're a firm of
boat-builders--I thought everybody knew that.

_Inquirer._ But then, what does this paper mean by saying that Oxford
are rowing in a Rough?

_Second W. I. M._ Why it means that their boat isn't so smooth as that
of Cambridge.

_Inquirer_ (_puzzled_). But then it goes on to say that "She is as
fine a specimen of a racing-craft as this eminent boat-builder has
ever turned out." How can she be that, if she isn't as smooth as the
Cambridge boat? Besides, who's "this eminent boat-builder?"

_Average Man._ ROUGH.

_Second W. I. M._ Rot!

_Average Man._ ROUGH, not Rot. ROUGH'S his name.

_Second W. I. M._ Let me see the paper. (_He reads, and addresses the_
Inquirer.) Why didn't you say the word was printed with a capital R?
(_To_ Average Man.) Perhaps you're right, after all; but I know some
boats _are_ rougher than others. [_A pause._

_Inquirer._ What's the difference between First Trinity and Third
Trinity? Three of the Cambridge men are from First T