But,--well, _I don't quite like the Caps!_

* * * * *

THE CAPLESS MAID.

["The plaintiff gave evidence that she was engaged as a sort
of house and parlour-maid ... and was discharged after she
had been there nine days, because she refused to wear a
cap ... His Honour: I do not think she was bound to wear a
cap."--_Daily Paper_.]

What shall we do with our Maid?
How shall we treat her best?
Shall the gems that are rare be strewed in her hair?
And shall she in silks be drest?
Shall we make her a gift of gold?
Shall we make her our queen? Perhaps.
But whatever we make her, wherever we take her,
We never must make her wear caps.

Imperious, capless, supreme,
Do just as you please evermore;
And wear what you will, for we shall be
And never complain as before.
We may put all our money in mines,
We may put all our cheese into traps,
But we put, it is clear, our foot in it, dear,
When we try to put you into caps.

* * * * *

THE DIFFERENCE.

["It needs no argument to show that in the summer of 1893
Mr. GLADSTONE is less likely to take an active part in any
electoral contest than he can be in the spring or autumn of
1892."--_Mr. Edward Dicey, on "The Next Parliament."_]

"Time's on our side," said GLADSTONE. DICEY, too,
Takes Edax Rerum as his friend most true.
GLADSTONE Time's "Hour Glass" trusts; but DICEY's blithe
Because _his_ hopes are centred on Time's _scythe_.
Faith lives in Life, but Fear's most vigorous breath
Lives "in the sure and certain hope"--of Death!

* * * * *

RESIGNATION.

"Fire! Fire!"
"Where? where?'
SHAW's resigned.
Then find
Another one!
Many gone?
Fire! Where?
Here's a scare!!

* * * * *

[Illustration: A NEW WAY OF PAYING CHURCH DEBTS.

(_Vide "Liverpool Daily Post," July 23 1891._)]

* * * * *

UPON A GLOVE.

(_AFTER THE FASHION--MORE OR LESS--OF HERRICK._)

Oh, limp and leathery type of Social Sham,
And Legislative Flam!
Which cunning CUNNINGHAME and MATTHEWS cool
(Both prompt to play the fool,
In free-lance fashion or official form)
Prattled of, 'midst a storm
Of crackling laughter, and ironic cheers,
And sniggering, "Hear, hears!"--
Thou