f his briny journey, even the Hatfield Wonder will
probably have 'had enough of it.'"

True prognostication! But skilful natation
Despite some "anxiety" and much "fatigue,"
Has "pulled SOLLY through" to his "pardner's elation."
Together they've plodded o'er many a league
Of big tumbling billows. See those in the rear!
They were ridden with skill, though regarded with fear.

"The flowing tide" fails him, but side-stroke and breast-stroke
Alternately serve him; fatigued but unhurt,
Like CAESAR, he swims. "Now mate, put on your best stroke!"
Sings out faithful SMIFFY, his pilot. "One spurt,
My SOL! Two or three more strong strokes and 'tis done;
Our Long Swim, for the Buoy is at hand, and we've won!"

* * * * *

OPERATIC BIRDS.--M. MAUREL can sing but didn't wish to sing in Mr.
ISIDORE DE TRA-LA-LARA's new Opera, _The Light of Asia_. Where was
TRA-LA-LARA when _The Light of Asia_ didn't come out? M. MAUREL
seems to have said, that, if the Opera were produced this season,
he'd be blowed if he sang, and the Opera would probably be damned,
theatrically and operatically speaking. That's the Moral or MAUREL
of the story. _The Light of Asia_ mustn't be snuffed out altogether,
but it may want trimming a bit, in order to shine as brightly as
TRA-LA-LARA expects it to do next season. There's a good time coming,
and good tunes too, we hope.

* * * * *

AMENDE HONORABLE.--In making up the list of outside contributors, _Mr.
Punch's_ Private Secretary regrets having omitted the name of JOHN
HOLLINGSHEAD, the friend of the Bloomsburians, and the determined
foe of Mud Salad Market and Monopolisers. "J.H.," or, to reverse the
initials, "HONEST JOHN," will now be satisfied.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "A LONG DISTANCE SWIM."

W.H. SM-TH. "HOORAY!--ANOTHER STROKE OR TWO, AND WE'VE DONE IT!!"]

* * * * *

VOCES POPULI.

BANK HOLIDAY.

SCENE--_The Crystal Palace. The Nave is filled with a dense
throng of Pleasure-seekers. Every free seat commanding the
most distant view of a Variety Performance on the Great Stage,
has been occupied an hour in advance. The less punctual stand
and enjoy the spectacle of other persons' hats or bonnets.
Gangs of Male and Female Promenaders jostle and hustle to
their hearts' content, or perform the war-song and danc