terous, they both become alike in
idea; and in such case a wife is regarded as a harlot, and marriage as
uncleanness; the man himself also is an adulterer, if not in body, still
in spirit. That hence ensue contempt, disdain, and aversion, between the
man and his woman, and thereby intense cold, is an unavoidable
consequence; for nothing stores up in itself conjugial cold more than
adulterous love; and as adulterous love also passes into such cold, it
may not undeservedly be called essential conjugial cold.

248. XII. OF EXTERNAL CAUSES OF COLD THE THIRD IS, A STRIVING FOR
PRE-EMINENCE BETWEEN MARRIED PARTNERS. This is, because conjugial love
principally respects the union of wills, and the freedom of decision
thence arising; both which are ejected from the married state by a
striving for pre-eminence or superiority; for this divides and tears
wills into pieces, and changes the freedom of decision into servitude.
During the influence of such striving, the spirit of one of the parties
meditates violence against the other; if in such case their minds were
laid open and viewed by spiritual sight, they would appear like two
boxers engaged in combat, and regarding each other with hatred and favor
alternately; with hatred while in the vehemence of striving, and with
favor while in the hope of dominion, and while under the influence of
lust. After one has obtained the victory over the other, this contention
is withdrawn from the externals, and betakes itself into the internals
of the mind, and there abides with its restlessness stored up and
concealed. Hence cold ensues both to the subdued party or servant, and
to the victor or dominant party. The reason why the latter also suffers
cold is, because conjugial love no longer exists with them, and the
privation of this love is cold; see n. 235. In the place of conjugial
love succeeds heat derived from pre-eminence; but this heat is utterly
discordant with conjugial heat, yet it can exteriorly resemble it by
means of lust. After a tacit agreement between the parties, it appears
as if conjugial love was made friendship; but the difference between
conjugial and servile friendship in marriages, is like that between
light and shade, between a living fire and an _ignis fatuus_, yea, like
that between a well-conditioned man and one consisting only of bone and
skin.

249. XIII. OF EXTERNAL CAUSES OF COLD THE FOURTH IS, A WANT OF
DETERMINATION TO ANY EMPLOYMENT OR BUSINESS, WHENCE COMES W