ugial semblances, which are appearances of love
and friendship subsisting between married partners who disagree in mind,
are for the sake of amendment, is because a spiritual man (_homo_)
connected with a natural one by the matrimonial covenant, intends
nothing else but amendment of life; which he effects by judicious and
elegant conversation, and by favors which soothe and flatter the temper
of the other; but in case these things prove ineffectual, he intends
accommodation, for the preservation of order in domestic affairs, for
mutual aid, and for the sake of the infants and children, and other
similar things; for, as was shown above, n. 280, whatever is said and
done by a spiritual man (_homo_) is founded in justice and judgement.
But with married partners, neither of whom is spiritual, but both
natural, similar conduct may exist, but for other ends; if for the sake
of amendment and accommodation, the end is, either that the other party
may be reduced to a similitude of manners, and be made subordinate to
his desires, or that some service may be made subservient to his own, or
for the sake of peace within the house, of reputation out of it, or of
favors hoped for by the married partner or his relations; not to mention
other ends: but with some these ends are grounded in the prudence of
their reason, with some in natural civility, with some in the delights
of certain cupidities which have been familiar from the cradle, the loss
of which is dreaded; besides several ends, which render the assumed
kindnesses as of conjugial love more or less counterfeit. There may also
be kindnesses as of conjugial love out of the house, and none within;
those however respect as an end the reputation of both parties; and if
they do not respect this, they are merely deceptive.

283. XII. THEY ARE FOR THE SAKE OF PRESERVING ORDER IN DOMESTIC AFFAIRS,
AND FOR THE SAKE OF MUTUAL AID. Every house in which there are children,
their instructors, and other domestics, is a small society resembling a
large one. The latter also consists of the former, as a whole consists
of its parts, and thereby it exists; and further, as the security of a
large society depends on order, so does the security of this small
society; wherefore as it behoves public magistrates to see and provide
that order may exist and be preserved in a compound society, so it
concerns married partners in their single society. But there cannot be
this order if the husband and wife disa