inmost principles. This is exquisitely and acutely observed by a wise
and prudent wife; who so far conceals her conjugial love, and withdraws
it into her bosom, and there hides it so deeply that it does not at all
appear in her face, in the tone of her voice, or in her behaviour. The
reason of this is, because so far as it appears, so far the conjugial
cold of the man diffuses itself from the inmost principles of his mind,
where it resides, into its ultimates, and occasions in the body a total
coldness, and a consequent endeavour to separate from bed and chamber."
I then asked, "Whence arises that which you call conjugial cold?" They
replied, "From the insanity of the men in regard to spiritual things;
and every one who is insane in regard to spiritual things; in his inmost
principles is cold towards his wife, and warm towards harlots; and since
conjugial love and adulterous love are opposite to each other, it
follows that conjugial love becomes cold when illicit love is warm; and
when cold prevails with the man, he cannot endure any sense of love, and
thus not any allusion thereto, from his wife; therefore the wife so
wisely and prudently conceals that love; and so far as she conceals it
by denying and refusing it, so far the man is cherished and recruited by
the influent meretricious sphere. Hence it is, that the wife of such a
man has no bosom delights such as we have, but only pleasures, which, on
the part of the man, ought to be called the pleasures of insanity,
because they are the pleasures of illicit love. Every chaste wife loves
her husband, even if he be unchaste; but since wisdom is alone recipient
of that love, therefore she exerts all her endeavours to turn his
insanity into wisdom, that is, to prevent his lusting after other women
besides herself. This she does by a thousand methods, being particularly
cautious lest any of them should be discovered by the man; for she is
well aware that love cannot be forced, but that it is insinuated in
freedom; wherefore it is given to women to know from the sight, the
hearing, and the touch, every state of the mind of their husbands; but
on the other hand it is not given to the men to know any state of the
mind of their wives. A chaste wife can look at her husband with an
austere countenance, accost him with a harsh voice, and also be angry
and quarrel, and yet in her heart cherish a soft and tender love towards
him; but such anger and dissimulation have for their end wis