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ON BETROTHINGS AND NUPTIALS.

295. The subject of betrothings and nuptials, and also of the rites and
ceremonies attending them, is here treated of principally from the
reason of the understanding; for the object of this book is that the
reader may see truths rationally, and thereby give his consent, for thus
his spirit is convinced; and those things in which the spirit is
convinced, obtain a place above those which, without consulting reason,
enter from authority and the faith of authority; for the latter enter
the head no further than into the memory, and there mix themselves with
fallacies and falses; thus they are beneath the rational things of the
understanding. From these any one may seem to converse rationally, but
he will converse preposterously; for in such case he thinks as a crab
walks, the sight following the tail: it is otherwise if he thinks from
the understanding; for then the rational sight selects from the memory
whatever is suitable, whereby it confirms truth viewed in itself. This
is the reason why in this chapter several particulars are adduced which
are established customs, as that the right of choice belongs to the men,
that parents ought to be consulted, that pledges are to be given, that
the conjugial covenant is to be settled previous to the nuptials, that
it ought to be performed by a priest, also that the nuptials ought to be
celebrated; besides several other particulars, which are here mentioned
in order that every one may rationally see that such things are assigned
to conjugial love, as requisite to promote and complete it. The articles
into which this section is divided are the following; I. _The right of
choice belongs to the man, and not to the woman._ II. _The man ought to
court and intreat the woman respecting marriage with him, and not the
woman the man._ III. _The woman ought to consult her parents, or those
who are in the place of parents, and then deliberate with herself,
before she consents._ IV. _After a declaration of consent, pledges are
to be given._ V. _Consent is to be secure and established by solemn
betrothing._ VI. _By betrothing, each party is prepared for conjugial
love._ VII. _By betrothing, the mind of the one is united to the mind of
the other, so as to effect a marriage of the spirit previous to a
marriage of the body._ VIII. _This is the case with those who think
chastely of marriages: but it is otherwise with those who think
unchastely of the