otherwise with women, in
whom is implanted a love for one of the sex. If you wish for a proof of
this, ask, if you please, the men you meet, what their sentiments are
respecting monogamical and polygamical unions; and you will seldom meet
one who will not reply in favor of the polygamical; and this also is a
love of the sex: but ask the women their sentiments on the subject, and
almost all, except the vilest of the sex, will reject polygamical
unions; from which consideration it follows, that with the women there
prevails a love of one of the sex, thus conjugial love. In regard to the
third reason, that it is not unbecoming for men to speak openly about
love, whereas it is for women, it is self-evident; hence also it
follows, that declaration belongs to the men, and therefore so does
choice. That women have the right of selecting in regard to their
suitors, is well known; but this species of selection is confined and
limited, whereas that of the men is extended and unlimited.

297. II. THE MAN OUGHT TO COURT AND INTREAT THE WOMAN RESPECTING
MARRIAGE WITH HIM, AND NOT THE WOMAN THE MAN. This naturally follows the
right of choice; and besides, to court and intreat women respecting
marriage is in itself honorable and becoming for men, but not for women.
If women were to court and entreat the men, they would not only be
blamed, but, after intreaty, they would be reputed as vile, or after
marriage as libidinous, with whom there would be no association but what
was cold and fastidious; wherefore marriages would thereby be converted
into tragic scenes. Wives also take it as a compliment to have it said
of them, that being conquered as it were, they yielded to the pressing
intreaties of the men. Who does not foresee, that if the women courted
the men, they would seldom be accepted? They would either be indignantly
rejected, or be enticed to lasciviousness, and also would dishonor their
modesty. Moreover, as was shewn above, the men have not any innate love
of the sex; and without love there is no interior pleasantness of life:
wherefore to exalt their life by that love, it is incumbent on the men
to compliment the women; courting and intreating them with civility,
courtesy, and humility, respecting this sweet addition to their life.
The superior comeliness of the female countenance, person, and manners,
above that of the men, adds itself as a proper object of desire.

298. III. THE WOMAN OUGHT TO CONSULT HER PARENTS, OR THOSE W