ts and flashes of indignation, but she beat them
back, standing in an attitude of reflection, and trying to discern the
first steps of her way. She knew that the emotions she was keeping under
would assert themselves in time, but just now she wanted only to see
what she ought to do during the next half-hour.

There came into her mind what Uncle Sim had said at supper--"Just got to
say _Abba--Father_, and see." She shook her head. She couldn't say
_Abba--Father_ at present. She didn't know why--but she couldn't.
Whatever the passion within her, it was nothing she could bring before a
Throne of Grace. It crossed her mind that if she prayed at all that
night she would pass this whole matter over. And in that case, why pray
at all?

And yet the thought of omitting her prayers disturbed her. If she did it
to-night, why not to-morrow night? And if to-morrow night, where would
it end? It was not a convincing argument, but it drew her toward her
bedside.

Even then she didn't kneel down, but clung to one of the tall, fluted
posts that supported a canopy. She couldn't pray. She didn't know what
to pray for. Conventional petitions would have had no meaning, and for
the moment she had no others to offer up. It was but half consciously
that she found herself stammering: "_Abba--Father! Abba--Father!_" her
lips moving dumbly to the syllables.

It brought her no relief. It gave her neither immediate light on her way
nor any new sense of power. She was as dazed as ever, and as indignant.
And yet when she raised herself from the weary clinging to the fluted
post she went to both the doors she had locked and unlocked them.

CHAPTER XXIV

The consciousness of something to be suppressed was with Lois when she
woke. "Not yet! Not yet!" was the warning of her subliminal self
whenever resentments and indignations endeavored to escape control.

With Thor she kept to subjects that had no personal bearing, clearly to
his relief. At breakfast they talked of the Mexican rising under Madero,
which was discussed in the papers of that morning. She knew that the
question in his mind was, "Does she really know?" but she betrayed
nothing that would help him to an answer.

When, after having kissed her with a timid, apologetic affection which
partly touched and partly angered her, he left for the office, she put
on a hat and, taking a parasol, went to see Dr. Hilary.

The First Parish Church, the oldest in the village, stands in a gras