but you sometimes tell strange
stories. I do not mind it myself, but the example is not good to my
young relation here, Mr Simple."

"Captain Kearney," replied the first lieutenant, laughing very
immoderately, "do you know what the pot called the kettle?"

"No, sir, I do not," retorted the captain, with offended dignity. "Mr
Simple, will you take a glass of wine?"

I thought that this little _brouillerie_ would have checked the captain;
it did so, but only for a few minutes, when he again commenced. The
first lieutenant observed that it would be necessary to let water into
the ship every morning, and pump it out, to avoid the smell of the
bilge-water. "There are worse smells than bilge-water," replied the
captain. "What do you think of a whole ship's company being nearly
poisoned with otto of roses? Yet that occurred to me when in the
Mediterranean. I was off Smyrna, cruising for a French ship, that was to
sail to France, with a pasha on board, as an ambassador. I knew she
would be a good prize, and was looking sharp out, when one morning we
discovered her on the lee bow. We made all sail, but she walked away
from us, bearing away gradually till we were both before the wind, and
at night we lost sight of her. As I knew that she was bound to
Marseilles, I made all sail to fall in with her again. The wind was
light and variable; but five days afterwards, as I lay in my cot, just
before daylight, I smelt a very strong smell, blowing in at the weather
port, and coming down the skylight, which was open; and after sniffing
at it two or three times, I knew it to be otto of roses. I sent for the
officer of the watch, and asked him if there was anything in sight. He
replied 'that there was not;' and I ordered him to sweep the horizon
with his glass, and look well out to windward. As the wind freshened,
the smell became more powerful. I ordered him to get the royal yards
across, and all ready to make sail, for I knew that the Turk must be
near us. At daylight there he was, just three miles ahead in the wind's
eye. But although he beat us going free, he was no match for us, on a
wind, and before noon we had possession of him and all his harem.
By-the-by, I could tell you a good story about the ladies. She was a
very valuable prize, and among other things, she had a _puncheon_ of
otto of roses on board--."

"Whew!" cried the first lieutenant. "What! a whole puncheon?"

"Yes," replied the captain, "a Turkish puncheon--not quit