ral; you know I am fond of talking. Tell me,
what should I restrain myself for? Why should I give up women, since I
have a passion for them? It's an occupation, anyway."

"So you hope for nothing here but vice?"

"Oh, very well, for vice then. You insist on its being vice. But anyway
I like a direct question. In this vice at least there is something
permanent, founded indeed upon nature and not dependent on fantasy,
something present in the blood like an ever-burning ember, for ever
setting one on fire and, maybe, not to be quickly extinguished, even
with years. You'll agree it's an occupation of a sort."

"That's nothing to rejoice at, it's a disease and a dangerous one."

"Oh, that's what you think, is it! I agree, that it is a disease like
everything that exceeds moderation. And, of course, in this one must
exceed moderation. But in the first place, everybody does so in one way
or another, and in the second place, of course, one ought to be moderate
and prudent, however mean it may be, but what am I to do? If I hadn't
this, I might have to shoot myself. I am ready to admit that a decent
man ought to put up with being bored, but yet..."

"And could you shoot yourself?"

"Oh, come!" Svidrigailov parried with disgust. "Please don't speak of
it," he added hurriedly and with none of the bragging tone he had shown
in all the previous conversation. His face quite changed. "I admit it's
an unpardonable weakness, but I can't help it. I am afraid of death and
I dislike its being talked of. Do you know that I am to a certain extent
a mystic?"

"Ah, the apparitions of Marfa Petrovna! Do they still go on visiting
you?"

"Oh, don't talk of them; there have been no more in Petersburg, confound
them!" he cried with an air of irritation. "Let's rather talk of that...
though... H'm! I have not much time, and can't stay long with you,
it's a pity! I should have found plenty to tell you."

"What's your engagement, a woman?"

"Yes, a woman, a casual incident.... No, that's not what I want to talk
of."

"And the hideousness, the filthiness of all your surroundings, doesn't
that affect you? Have you lost the strength to stop yourself?"

"And do you pretend to strength, too? He-he-he! You surprised me just
now, Rodion Romanovitch, though I knew beforehand it would be so.
You preach to me about vice and aesthetics! You--a Schiller, you--an
idealist! Of course that's all as it should be and it would be
surprising if it were not